My Loving Beast
by Eric Arnold


Introduction 

Two thousand years ago, Horace wrote (Satyricon II): Naked, under the lurid 
light
 Her thighs heave hotly
Astride the upturned stallion. 

Zoophilic erotica, appeasing the spectator side of bestiality, is common in 
art and literature-much more common perhaps than bestiality itself. The 
"circuses" or "spectacles" of the brothels have been popular throughout the 
history of whoredom. The chronicles of the ancients are filled with bestial 
anecdotes and even the facades of a few great cathedrals and other public 
buildings of the Middle Ages, decorated with sculptures of nuns and other 
women being ravished by apes or set upon by leering snakes and other 
animals, attests a popular appeal for the subject. 

The incidence of bestial contacts in the free sexual atmosphere of the 
Greco-Roman period were much higher than in succeeding Christian eras. The 
sexual menagerie of the Greeks and Romans was vast, from household 
crocodiles to pet pythons and other snakes used as "bed coolers" on hot 
nights. 

The sexual license of our own era, which perhaps comes closest to competing 
with the Greco-Roman, is accompanied by mass social acceptance of zoophilia 
unequalled in history. Dog shows, cat shows, horse shows and their wide 
appeal are open evidence of mass zoophilia and the current dog fashion fad 
(especially for poodle lovers) including mink coats (at $300), bikini 
outfits, sweaters and skirts, false eyelashes, toenail polish, psychedelic 
raincoats, jeweled sunglasses, etc., for pet dogs is zoophilia on an almost 
hysterical level. Zoophiles easily exercise, vicariously, the subconscious 
bestial inclinations that may often obsess them. A common kennel scene is 
the sexually frustrated "dog lover" who watches with a flushed face and 
heaving bosom as the penis of a prize-winning stud is guided into the vagina 
of her pet poodle. The sexual excitement of her pet is far surpassed by her 
own and in some instances even supersedes it. 

In recent years, undoubtedly as the result of increasing sexual 
enlightenment, the "my pet needs a sex life too" dogma has reared a 
compassionate head, where pet owners are transferring their own sexual 
desires and identities to their pets. Surprisingly, this motivation is 
offered often by subjects involved in bestial relations with household pets, 
especially with cats and small dogs such as Chihuahuas and toy poodles, 
where the total bestial effort is in masturbation of the animals or joint 
masturbation by the subject of herself and the animal. Several kennel owners 
have testified that they have begun to receive a number of requests to 
arrange "sex romps" for their pets. "Spaying" and castration requests of 
vets are decreasing-the operations have begun to be considered by many 
animal lovers as inhumane. 


 Chapter I 

Animals And Children 

The medical library contains thousands of case histories of animalism that 
are available to students studying psychiatry. Animalism with children and 
teenagers are by far the most incredible. Many studies in the area of 
animalism have pointed out the strange desire which children display toward 
animals. A child's sexuality, not yet developed into a mature desire, is 
extremely explosive and not yet subject to the rules of society. 

When children have sexual relations with animals, they differ a great deal 
from their adult counterparts. Grown people tend to perform any strange 
practices in private and alone. A great many of the recorded instances of 
childhood animalism and bestiality occur in a group. It would appear that 
the children need a communal setting to release their sexual desires. 

Two such children were Ted and Lonnie, brother and sister, who lived on the 
Florida coast. Their father was a research scientist at an animal 
laboratory. At the time of the series of incidents which I am about to 
describe, Ted was eleven years old and his sister Lonnie was nine. 

Their mother had been dead for many years and their father was carrying on 
an affair with a young research assistant. He would meet her every afternoon 
in the large grove of thick trees and shallow swamps behind the laboratory. 
Unknown to him, Ted and Lonnie had found a secret hiding place where they 
could watch everything that happened. 

They could see their father slip off the young girl's clothes and fondle her 
beautiful breasts. They could see the beautiful girl kissing and biting 
every part of his muscular body until she placed her red mouth around his 
penis. The children watched in wide-eyed fascination as they saw their 
father's organ grow to a size they did not imagine was possible. 

They saw him climb on her and thrust that monumental piece of flesh between 
the girl's legs, causing her to moan and sigh and cry out. Then the two 
bodies thrashed and turned about, until the swamp seemed to the children 
like the battleground of two monstrous lizards. 

One particularly hot day, after watching their father and his girl friend, 
the two children remained in the swamp together. Ted put his hand under his 
sister's dress in an attempt to emulate his father. He removed all of her 
clothes and looked down at his sister's naked body. 

"You don't have those big things on your chest," he said to Lonnie, sadly, 
but he bent over and kissed the little nipples that stood like thin dimes on 
a white table. When he put his hands between her legs, the little girl 
shivered. 

"Don't move," he ordered her. 

"What are you looking for?" she asked him. 

"Ah, here, I have found it," the young boy announced and he grinned from ear 
to ear as his fingers slipped into her tiny, delicate vagina. 

It was nice to keep his fingers there; it was warm and he wriggled them 
about. Ted looked down at his penis to see if it had grown to the same size 
as his father's. 

"It is still small," his sister said, laughing, as she touched it with her 
hand. 

"You must kiss it," he commanded. She obeyed his wishes and the boy giggled. 

They played like that all afternoon until it got dark. Then they returned to 
the laboratory. That particular lab studied the effects of certain drugs on 
monkeys, chimps and orangutans. As the two children passed one of the cages, 
Ted peered in the small, female monkey resting on a log. She was fairly new, 
having been shipped up from South America only a few days before. She was a 
beautiful soft brown color, with a tail that curled prettily around the log. 
Ted stopped and a pained expression caught his face. He grabbed his sister's 
hand and thrust it between his legs. 

"Feel," he commanded her. 

Little Lonnie could feel Ted's penis, suddenly grown to a very large size. 
She opened his pants and put her hand inside to feel the bare flesh. 

"It is very big," she said in awe, as her tiny fingers slid up and down his 
penis and her beautifully formed thumbs dug into his globes. 

Ted moved closer to the cage until he was near enough to put his hands 
inside. 

"Come here, come to me," he called to the monkey. His hands strained toward 
her as if she were the most succulent piece of fruit. 

The monkey hesitated and then approached Ted very slowly. 

"Only a little more ... hurry, hurry," he coaxed her. 

His sister Lonnie, her eyes wide with interest, began to masturbate her 
brother, pulling her little hand back and forth against his organ as quickly 
as possible. 

The monkey reached the bars of her cage. Ted touched her soft neck. The poor 
boy almost wept with childish desire. He pulled her close and placed his 
lips on her lips. The frightened monkey moved quickly away and watched him 
for a long time. Then she returned to the boy. 

Meanwhile, Lonnie was still occupied with his organ. She became jealous when 
she saw her brother fondling the monkey and let go of his flesh to fling 
herself between them. 

"You must not do that, Lonnie," the boy admonished, his childish passion 
doubly excited by his sister's fingers and the soft, velvet hole of the 
monkey's mouth. 

"No, Ted, no," her beautiful little voice quaked with a new-found passion, 
"I will do like that woman did for Daddy and then you will play only with 
me." 

Immediately upon saying that she bent down and with all the strength and 
passion of her frail little body, grabbed his penis with her mouth and let 
it go deep inside her. The poor child gagged and her face flushed. Ted kept 
his gaze on the monkey which was now turning in its cage, tail twitching 
wildly. 

They were interrupted by the sound of footsteps behind them. Ted pushed his 
sister away and began to run. Lonnie anxiously followed him. They were both 
too scared to look at who was behind them. When they reached their father's 
house they collapsed on the floor, their little bodies gasping for breath. 

That night, in bed, Ted thought of the monkey. He could not get it out of 
his memory. He thought how nice it would be to have the animal in his room 
and be able to play with it all the time. 

The next day, Ted and Lonnie visited the cage of the small monkey. To their 
surprise, she was gone. They looked in all the other cages but could not 
find her anywhere. Finally, Ted went to his father and told him that the 
monkey was missing. Their father laughed and said that it had only been put 
in the lab to undergo certain experiments. 

The moment their father had spoken these words, the two children burst into 
tears. They could not stand the idea of that little monkey being subjected 
to the horrible experiments in the laboratory. 

"You must take her out of here," said Ted, grabbing hold of his father's 
shirt and pulling at it as hard as he could. 

"But why?" asked the father. 

"We love her, we don't want her to feel pain." 

Ted's father looked at him in a strange way and then nodded his head very 
slowly up and down. 

"Alright, I will take her out of the lab." 

They followed their father into the sparkling white building where he walked 
to the cage holding the little monkey. She made funny little noises when she 
saw them and hid in a corner of the cage. 

Ted could feel his little penis harden and without his father seeing, he ran 
his hand down his sister's buttocks. Lonnie giggled. Their father opened the 
cage and took the monkey in his arms. 

"Well, here she is. What do you want me to do with her?" 

"Let me have her for a few days," Ted pleaded. "I will take care of her, I 
promise." 

At first Mr. T. refused, but finally he agreed to let his two children care 
for the monkey for a few days. Ted and Lonnie leaped on to him, almost 
delirious with joy and hurried home with the monkey. 

That night the monkey slept in a large wooden box beside Ted's bed. The boy 
had supplied her with fresh fruit and a warm blanket. The children waited 
until they were sure their father was asleep. Then they got down from their 
beds and huddled together around the monkey's box. 

"Isn't she beautiful?" whispered Ted. 

His sister did not answer him, but she nodded her head up and down and 
looked closely at the monkey. 

Ted picked the monkey up and carried her to his bed. Lonnie followed them. 
The two children sat on the bed with the monkey between them. Ted undressed 
his sister and let the monkey play between her legs. The animal nuzzled 
between her thighs and finally her pink tongue found Lonnie's little vagina. 
The girl cringed when the monkey inserted its tongue. 

"Don't be afraid," said Ted. "Let the monkey do anything she wants to." 

Reluctantly, the little girl spread her legs wide and the monkey's tongue 
moved in. Lonnie made strange little noises and the monkey shied away. Ted 
took hold of her and guided her back to his sister. He placed the monkey's 
head between Lonnie's legs and pushed it. Then he sat back and giggled as 
the monkey and his sister made funny sounds. He bent close to the monkey and 
could see her private opening. His tiny penis began to stiffen. He felt 
strange noises in his stomach. The boy was caught in the grip of a sexual 
passion. The monkey had somehow made him feel the most powerful of urges. He 
was confused. He looked at the monkey's opening and moved closer. He could 
see the monkey's head buried between his sister's legs and the tongue moving 
faster and faster. Summoning all the strength in his body, he pulled the 
monkey away from his sister. His penis had grown hard and large and he ran 
his hands over the monkey's body to find her vagina. Then he found it and he 
climbed into her. 

The monkey shriveled up in fear when Ted's penis entered her and the sad, 
animal cries that filled the room were pathetic. She bit the boy on the neck 
and arms, trying to escape from him, but it was no use. The unusual boy upon 
her, drove his virgin penis into her, deeper and deeper. 

Lonnie became frightened at the sight of her brother's smooth body entering 
that hairy monkey and she began to scream. Ted looked at her, spit drooling 
down his face and his eyes bulging and yelled at her to be quiet. But it was 
too late. They could both hear the steps of their father running through the 
hallway. He burst into the room. The young boy and the monkey were still 
joined. Ted would not withdraw his penis. The passion still gripped him and 
he did not care who was in the room. He would not let go of that hairy 
little vagina. 

Mr. T. stopped for a moment, shocked, when he realized what was happening. 
Then he raced over to the bed and separated the two bodies. Grabbing the 
monkey by one leg, he whirled her around his head and dashed her to the 
ground, killing her instantly. The wild screams of Ted and Lonnie filled the 
room. 

In the days following the incident Mr. T. did not say a word to the 
children. He reasoned that it was just one of these strange incidents which 
happens once and never happen again. 

But he was wrong. Once his children had discovered their own feeling toward 
monkeys and apes, they spent their whole day near the cages looking for 
animals that would appeal to them. At night, they would sneak out of the 
house and climb into the cage. 

Lonnie fell in love with a large chimp who had been in the laboratory for 
many years. They brought the animal fruits and other delicacies. Then the 
little girl would back up against the chimp and he would plunge his furry 
member between her buttocks. This would happen again and again until Ted 
grew jealous and he would separate them so he could place the hairy organ 
into his mouth and feel the chimp's power expend under the pressure of his 
tongue. 

This strange affection for monkeys continued for many years. The children 
gradually lost all feeling for humans and took to spending all their time 
with the animals. 

When their father finally realized what was happening, it was too late. No 
matter how many doctors the children were sent to, their sexual attraction 
to monkeys could not be lessened. They had turned into true animalists. 

 CASE HISTORY: Tina L., 20. 

Animalism and bestiality have been an integral part of a circus performer's 
life throughout history. Perhaps it is unavoidable, for in no other work 
does a human being have such close and intimate contact with the animal 
kingdom. Every circus has scores of animal acts which make such contacts 
almost inevitable. 

Often, in the circus, the sexual passion turns into an intense love for the 
beast. Performers have been known to commit suicide when an animal dies. I 
know of a dog trainer in a German circus, who actually kept the dead body of 
a beloved poodle with him for many months, performing sexual perversions on 
the corpse until it disintegrated. 

This case history will concern itself with one of the most shocking cases in 
the history of bestiality and assorted perversions. Twenty years ago Tina 
was one of the most famous artists in the circus world. Her name was known 
with respect and awe in every major city of Europe and she commanded 
tremendous prices for even a short guest performance. 

Tina's act consisted of herself, a black panther and a horse. She worked 
with these two animals in an enclosed ring and at the touch of a black whip 
or a voice command, the panther would leap upon the back of the horse and 
they would both jump over high wooden bars. It had taken her many years to 
develop and perfect this act and the audience would watch in amazement as 
these two natural enemies worked together like a precision watch. 

Tina stayed apart from the other circus performers and they disliked her for 
this, thinking that she considered herself above them. At the time of her 
first lapse into the strange and turbulent world of animalism, she was 
working in the largest circus in France. Physically, Tina was a beautiful 
woman. At thirty, her large bosom strained against her brocaded coat and the 
patient observer could make out the outline of her luscious thighs and proud 
buttocks. 

Upon her arrival at this circus, she had entered into a strange relationship 
with one of the clowns, a tall distinguished man named Roy. The clown 
supplied Tina with a small, sharp knife. Every evening, when she visited his 
trailer, she would make many little cuts in his naked body as he lay on the 
bed. After this operation, she would pour salt into his wounds and as Roy 
was squirming on the bed in pain and pleasure, Tina would lay beside him and 
take his enormous penis into her mouth. 

Then Roy would thrash around, trying to throw her off his flesh. They would 
roll together on the floor, back and forth across the trailer until they 
were exhausted and then Roy would finally submit to the caresses of her 
delicate tongue upon his member. 

Then he would insert a strange braided cloth, with gypsy symbols weaved in 
it, into her vagina and mumbling various black magic words, would twist the 
cloth until Tina's whole body twitched with desire. 

One night Tina went to his trailer and upon entering the door, found Roy 
hanging from a beam. The clown had killed himself. She could not believe it 
at first and talked to the dead man hanging there as if he were alive. Then 
she spotted a note on the small table addressed to her. She picked it up and 
read as follows: 

"Please do not mourn for me. I have led a strange life, cursed by the most 
foul desires that the flesh could withstand. But I shall leave you my secret 
legacy. Do not direct your lovely body toward other humans, but throw all of 
your passion to our true brothers, the mammals, fish and birds of the earth. 
There will lie your true happiness. Let them crawl into your bed and taste 
the delights of your body. Feel their hairy organs penetrating you and you 
will know a happiness that few humans have ever experienced." 

Tina cut the body down and as a last tribute to her friend, she made little 
cuts on his corpse and poured salt into the wounds. Then she dressed him in 
his finest clothes and made up his face as if for a performance. She 
stretched him out on his bed and folded his hands across his chest. The 
clown looked strangely peaceful and Tina sat beside him for a long time, 
weeping and talking to him. 

All the circus performers turned out for the funeral. Tina stayed in the 
rear of the procession, thinking of Roy's peculiar advice to her. 

She devoted herself, after Roy's death, to teaching the panther and the 
horse even more difficult tricks. Every morning and afternoon she was in the 
ring, whip in hand, leading the two animals through their paces. The panther 
was a most beautiful beast, his coat a burning black and his eyes an evil 
yellow. His long tail swung over his back from side to side. The horse, a 
powerful white stallion, had the blood of ten generations of circus 
performers flowing through his veins. Tina could not think of having the 
horse gelded, even though stallions were more nervous and contributed an 
added element of danger to the act. 

The horse and the panther hated each other, but as much as they hated, they 
feared Tina more. They feared her whip and her harsh voice. But Tina was 
always careful. She knew that as much as the panther and the horse feared 
her, that one day they would overcome their fear and try to rip her to 
pieces, or shatter her brains underneath their surging bodies. 

The act became an obsession to her. She even began to practice at night when 
the other performers were asleep. One night, when she was in the ring with 
her animals practicing an extremely difficult trick, in which the panther 
jumps on the back of the running horse and stands for a second on his hind 
legs, she caught a glimpse of the panther's organs. She stopped suddenly. 
Just noticing the penis for the first time made her body shake. She did not 
know what to do. She was afraid she would lose control, but slowly she 
recovered. Tina watched the beast move about the ring, close to the ground, 
her eyes searching for another glimpse of that long black instrument. 

Now she knew what Roy had been talking about in his last note to her. Now 
she knew why he had been so caught up in his passion for beasts. Nothing she 
had ever seen in his life had prepared her for that beautifully molded 
organ. 

The panther seemed to sense that Tina was watching him. He glared at her and 
curled his lip up against his fangs. 

"You are lovely," she said to the beast, shocked and confused at the words 
that came out of her mouth. She had never spoken to him in such a manner 
before. 

She moved closer to the panther, dropping the whip. The beast looked at her, 
every muscle straining against his sleek skin. Tina realized that she might 
be going to her doom, but her passion was too overpowering. The horse moved 
to one side of the ring, as if sensing that something strange was about to 
happen. Closer and closer she came to the panther. The palms of her hands 
were sweating and she could feel a tightening in her chest. 

Soon she was only inches away. Tina halted. The panther's cruel eyes were 
directly in front of her. 

"I feel that you will not harm me. I know that you share this terrible 
passion." 

The panther's tail waved slowly back and forth, as though the key to his 
actions was contained in it. 

"Yes, my precious," Tina murmured, "wave that glorious tail. Be ready to 
receive me." 

She reached out and touched the panther. What delightful shivers ran through 
her body! The powerful muscles underneath his skin seemed to charge her 
fingers with the most potent electricity. Her hand moved under the beast, 
who stood quite still and quiet, until she found his penis. 

"I have it! Oh, I have it," she muttered to herself. "Don't move, don't 
move. You will be my animal love. You will make love to me and delight in my 
body." 

She glided under the panther, on her back, until she was directly facing the 
furry flesh. It hung there silently. Her mouth opened and a passionate 
tongue leapt out to touch the organ. The panther growled softly. 

Tina licked the surrounding areas and then gently rubbed the tip with her 
tongue. She had never known such an intimacy. Gradually the panther's flesh 
began to grow stiff. When she saw that it had reached a monumental size and 
hardness, she moved out from under him. 

"Take me," she pleaded. 

Tina removed all of her clothes. She stood completely naked in front of the 
beast. The panther moved against her. She bent over and felt the beast's 
great tongue lick her vagina. Its strength and passion made her moan in 
pleasure. Tina placed her hands on the floor, ready to be mounted. The 
panther climbed on her, his deadly paws draped around her bare neck. She no 
longer feared them, but kissed the claws and licked his paw pads. 

Finally the panther entered her. His claws dug into her flesh as that furry 
splendor moved deeper and deeper into her vagina. 

"My darling, my precious," she moaned. 

The beast was now humping her as if she were a female panther. His eyes were 
wild with passion and flecks of saliva flew from his mouth. The great tail 
swung from side to side. The horse watched nervously and moved around the 
ring. The panther seemed about to drive Tina into the earth, so powerful was 
his thrust and passion. 

Then the ring was filled with a great roar as the beast shot his seed into 
Tina's body. The force of his ejaculation was so powerful that she was 
hurled half-way into the air and landed a few feet away from where she had 
been squatting. She lay there for many minutes, her body shaking with pride 
and pleasure. There were great red marks on her shoulders and back 
testifying to the passion with which the beast had mounted her. 

The panther moved to the edge of the ring, growling in a manner which seemed 
almost like a purr. He lay down and began to lick his member clean, as all 
cats will, removing the excess of seed with his powerful tongue. Finally 
Tina rose and put her clothes on. She picked up her whip and drove the two 
animals back into their cages. 

"Good night, my pet. I will see you again," she said to the panther, a sad 
smile on her face, for she felt that she had fallen so violently in love 
that nothing could save her. 

The panther waved his tail slowly at her words. 

Tina could not sleep that night. She kept tossing and turning and thinking 
about the strange shift her life had taken. Tina thought of Roy and she 
wished with all her heart that he could have lived to know of her 
experience. She got out of bed and walked to a small table, on which was a 
pencil and a few sheets of paper. She felt that she must record her 
experience and tell the world that great discovery she had made. She wrote, 
in part: 

"Tonight I have been initiated into the most glorious of all delights. I 
have seen the wild, beastly aspects of the body and they were more delicate 
and more blissful than the normal ones. But they were also filled with a 
wild passion, a passion that entered my private parts in the person of a 
furry organ and tore me apart and made my whole body twitch with the 
agonizing love for that black animal. Tonight I kissed the center of the 
world, embodied in the long, powerful organ of a black panther. When he 
entered me and heated to thousand degrees was about to purchase my soul." 

As she was writing her hand fell to her breasts and she fondled them and 
spoke to them: 

"Few men have tasted you and now I give you to a jungle beast." 

She began to laugh and flung herself on the bed. In an instant she was 
asleep. 

Every night Tina continued to train her act and afterwards she would let the 
panther mount her. Her body had become a mass of bruises and scratches. Her 
eyes were wild from prolonged bouts of passion. She was caught in a trap of 
her own making. The panther would not let her rest and was restless during 
the training period and the minute he saw her removing her clothes he would 
be ready to mount. Tina wanted to rest, but the need for his embraces had 
become as great as her need for food and sleep. 

One night, as she had finished the training period, she noticed the stallion 
looking at her in a strange fashion. Tina walked over to the animal and 
began to stroke its neck. 

"What is the matter?" she asked him, concerned over the faithful and 
hard-working beast. 

The horse nuzzled her breasts in a manner that shocked Tina. But she opened 
her blouse and let the animal sniff her bosom and nibble at her nipples as 
if they were crab apples. 

Suddenly Tina realized what was happening. The horse had desired her as much 
as the panther. The tears began to fall from her eyes as she realized what 
this stallion must have suffered. She reached both hands under the horse to 
feel his member. It was gigantic! She was worried that it would not fit. At 
the touch of her hands there the horse became skittish, but soon calmed 
down. 

Tina removed her clothes and rubbed a thin liniment of grease between her 
thighs and into her private parts. As she was thinking of the way to go 
about it, she heard the most horrible sound of her life. It was a frantic 
roar, almost insane, that came from deep inside the throat of the panther. 
The beast leaped from where he had been crouching and in an instant was upon 
the horse's neck, tearing the poor animal to shreds. Blood from the horse's 
wounds splattered Tina. 

In a few more seconds the panther's jealousy had taken its toll. The horse 
lay to one side, its life torn from it and its body crisscrossed by a 
thousand bites and cuts. 

Tina's circus act and livelihood had been destroyed. In the weeks that 
followed the incident she became more and more morose. Finally, her fellow 
performers found her in the panther's cage with a knife, swearing that she 
would kill the animal. When they tried to take the knife away from her, she 
plunged it into her own breast. 

Tina survived, but her mental stability was gone. She was sent to an 
institution in the south of France, where she remains to this day. After her 
departure the panther refused to eat and in a few weeks, he died. In this 
sad manner, the love affair was ended. 

 Chapter II "The Erotic And The Animal" 

Large urban communities are more conducive to the growth of animalism in 
people than are farms. Huge cities are cold, sterile places to many men and 
women who, in their desperation to find warmth and affection, turn to pets 
for comfort. 

Mona, 23, is one such person who found the thought of bestiality less and 
less repulsive to her the longer she lived in New York City. She came to one 
of the largest urban developments in the world right after business school 
hoping to find glamour, success and love. Here is what she found in her own 
words: 

"I can't describe to you how excited I was five years ago when I first came 
to New York. All my life I had been cooped up in small towns and small 
colleges and now I was sure that I would commence to really live. There were 
so many people rushing along the streets of Times Square that I was certain 
that it was impossible to be lonely in this city of eight million. How wrong 
I was! 

"I found a job with a good firm at a nice salary. I was so busy in the first 
couple of months in New York that I just didn't have time for loneliness. 
There was the problem of finding a place close to work so I wouldn't have to 
ride those crowded subways every day. I signed a two year lease on a cozy 
little apartment in one of those middle-income high-risers. The rent was 
stiff but I could afford it. I had visions of myself entertaining long lines 
of attractive young men in my new place. I had the small-town idea that 
neighbors were, well, neighborly. 

"The building I was in held more people than most towns I've been to. Since 
I had never been lonely in any of those towns I was sure that I would soon 
be meeting all sorts of new friends. I didn't expect anyone to come around 
with a Welcome Wagon but I did expect a few smiles at least. 

"After the first excitement about the job and the new apartment wore off I 
began to get keenly aware of my solitude. As huge as the complex I lived in 
was I hardly even got to see my next door neighbors let alone talk to them. 
People came and went in the building with a minimum of social contact. One 
Saturday morning I took deliberate pains to meet some of the people on my 
floor by waiting outside in the hall until a door opened. 

"I'll never forget that day. I trembled as I gazed down the hall and looked 
at those closed doors and wondered what kind of life, if any, were behind 
them. Then the door next to mine opened and a woman in her thirties stepped 
out with a sullen expression on her face. She didn't seem to be in the mood 
for conversation but I introduced myself to her anyhow. She stared at me 
blankly. "I'm running late," she said after giving me her name and darted 
down the hallway as if expecting me to ask her for money or make a sexual 
proposition. 

"Anyhow, I did manage to introduce myself to my next door neighbor, at least 
and lingered in the hall to see who else I'd be living with for a couple of 
years. 

"A young couple stepped out of one of the apartments and again, I introduced 
myself to them. 'Drop by for drinks later on, why don't you?' I offered. 

"Both seemed taken back by my aggressive show of friendship. They smiled 
weakly and muttered something about being 'in a hurry'. Like the woman, they 
seemed anxious to get away from the small-town rube. Later on I found out 
that those were the favorite expressions of New Yorkers: 'I'm running late' 
and 'I'm in a hurry.' 

"My first overtures for friendship fell flat. The woman next to me was a 
widow who lived alone yet she seemed to be content with her solitude. The 
young couple never accepted my invitation for cocktails and they seemed to 
have their own circle of friends that did not permit intruders. That's what 
I felt like in the building ... an intruder, an outsider. 

"I did meet some people at work but none of my relationships seemed to 
blossom into friendships. To begin with most of the men were married and the 
few single ones either had girls or were not interested in female 
companionship. I mostly went but with some of the girls in the office. We 
went to those Swinging Singles bars that are common in Manhattan. I hated 
them because most of the men I met were usually in one stage of drunkenness 
or other. None of them seemed interested in a lasting friendship and only 
wanted to have one-night stands with as many girls as possible. They had 
enough girls falling in bed with them so they were spoiled. I made up my 
mind I wasn't going to be a sex object for a night or a week. If I took a 
lover it would have to last a little longer. 

"One night, out of sheer loneliness, I dropped by one of these bars myself 
and let this chubby fellow buy me drinks. He wasn't good looking but he 
seemed sober and intelligent, at least. After three or four drinks I wasn't 
feeling any pain and I allowed myself to be taken to his apartment. When we 
were alone he started to feel my body up and I didn't resist. I figured ... 
what the hell? I had sexual needs like everyone else so why not have them 
satisfied? 

"The chubby fellow pressed me against his bed and pushed my dress up. He 
pulled my panties down and he kept saying all along. 'Just relax ... take it 
easy.' 

"I heard his zipper open and his clothing being moved. Suddenly he was on 
top of me and I felt his heavy, smooth organ dig into my vagina. Our lips 
met as he pushed into me. His breath smelled of liquor but mine did, too, I 
suppose. We were both somewhat drunk but I'm not using that as an excuse. I 
wanted him; I wanted something to make me feel less alone. 

"His member pushed all the way into my body and he started to pump up and 
down with strong, virile strokes. Excitement mounted in me like water rising 
behind a dam. It had been so long since anyone had ever demonstrated this 
much attention to me that I almost wept with joy. I pushed my body up to 
meet his. He slipped his sweaty hands under my butts and squeezed them. 
'That's it!' he gasped with passion. 'You're screwing good, honey!' 

"He kept ramming into me until he had an orgasm. I felt his shooting fluid 
fill my body and I opened my mouth to receive his probing tongue. His body 
was heavy on mine but I gloried in the warmth it gave me. For the first time 
since I had come to New York I was enmeshed, deeply, with another living 
being. 

"A door suddenly opened. 'You bastard!' a woman screamed. 'How many times 
have I told you not to bring your bitches home?' 

"The woman was his wife. I had learned another lesson: Every man who went to 
the 'singles' bars was not a bachelor. 

"I tried to establish lasting affairs with men but none took. I'm not 
unattractive and I'm anything but sexually cold. For awhile I thought I had 
found my man when this handsome junior executive invited me out. When he 
brought me home I let him come in for some coffee. We sat on the sofa and 
started to kiss. He placed his hand on my legs and pushed it all the way up 
to my crotch. One of his fingers probed into my pussy and I was ready to go 
all the way with him. But he didn't press on and left rather quickly. We 
went out on a few more dates after that but he never got any more passionate 
with me than he had that first time. Then, one day, he told me why ... he 
had been made impotent because of a wound he had received in Korea. 

"I was still willing to date him and even have sex relations, after a 
fashion, with him but he stopped seeing me because he had revealed his 
secret. After a year in New York these were the only two affairs, if you 
could call them that, that I had with men. 

"One of the girls I worked with at the office invited me to an inter-racial 
party. I had never gone out with a black man before so I was thrilled when a 
very dark, very handsome fellow asked me for a date. He didn't waste much 
time getting into me and before I knew it, I was standing in front of him 
naked. He ran his dark hands over my breasts and vagina and he told me that 
he had a 'thing' for white girls. Then he stripped off his clothes and I 
gazed at his smooth, ebony skin. His erected flesh was large and throbbing 
and he thrust it into my waiting cleft. He moved hard and fast. The nipples 
of my hot bosom came to rigid points and scraped against his chest. His 
orgasm came in a flood and I moaned. 

"We lived together for a month, the longest personal relationship I was ever 
to have in New York. The black man was a bit of a sadist but I stayed on 
with him because I thought it was better than being alone. It seemed that he 
only wanted me to show off in front of white men that he could take one of 
their women. He didn't love me. I doubted that he could love anyone. 

"I found out I was pregnant and asked my dark lover what he intended to do 
about it. I expected that the least he would do is find an abortionist but, 
instead, he denied that the unborn baby was his. I screamed at him and 
clawed his sneering face. He responded by beating me up. When I came to my 
nose was broken and he had deserted me. End of another affair in glamorous 
New York. 

"My next problem was the baby. If my employer found out I was having a child 
out of wedlock I'd probably be fired. When I thought of what my life would 
be like trying to raise a half-black child by myself I shuddered. A girl at 
the office put me in touch with an abortionist and I had the thing cut out 
of me for three hundred dollars. 

"I avoided men after that and concentrated only on my work. When the lease 
was up at my apartment I moved out. In the two years I had lived there I 
hadn't made a single friend. I moved into a smaller place hoping that a new 
neighborhood was what I needed. But, as always, people were cold, stiff and 
suspicious. In New York every friendly overture is looked upon with 
suspicion because people feel you want something when you talk to them. All 
I ever wanted was a little warmth. 

"I tried sharing my place with another girl but she slipped into my bed one 
night and started kissing me. When I told her that I wasn't queer she got 
mad. 'Then why the hell did you invite me to share your apartment?' she 
wanted to know. 

"See? That's the paranoia you find in New York. I had thought I was doing a 
girl a favor by allowing her to room with me but she took my offer as a 
sexual proposition. 

"So, now I didn't dare make any more overtures to females as well as males. 
People just didn't trust me and I started not to trust them. Who was left? 
Who could I turn to for a little affection? 

"I found a torn cat on my doorstep one rainy night and scooped him up. When 
I fed the wet creature some milk he purred with gratitude. My heart went out 
to the animal. Here was something, at least, that wasn't going to use, 
misuse or abuse me. When I went to bed the cat, which I named Lover, jumped 
up next to me and curled himself near my head. 

"Lover purred and I drifted off into the best sleep I had in weeks. In the 
morning I started to talk to the cat as if it were a human being. 'Well, 
Lover, what would you like for breakfast? Milk? Are you on a liquid diet? 

"The animal rubbed against my bare leg and the sensation was strangely ... 
sexual. I picked Lover up and held him against one of my bared tits. He 
leaned over and started to lick the nipple. My skin filled with goose-bumps 
and I put the cat down quickly. 'You're getting weird, Mona,' I told myself. 

"I knew all I had done was pick up a mangy alley cat but I could not get 
Lover out of my mind while I worked that day at the office. I began to worry 
that he would not be home when I got there. I had suffered enough desertions 
and disappointments in New York. 

"When I put the key in my door I heard Lover rush to meet me. He all but 
jumped up into my arms when I entered the apartment. I held him next to my 
face and listened to him purr. I knew that he wasn't putting on an act, 
pretending to love me just to see what he could squeeze me for. There was a 
steak in the refrigerator and I cut it in half and gave him a large piece. 
You should have seen the way he ate it! I gazed down at this small, soft, 
living lump of fur at my feet and realized that, at last, I had found 
something in New York I could relate to and which would relate to me. 

"I really spoiled Lover. I gave him the best of everything but, then, how 
expensive could that be? I bathed him and brushed his fur and once tried to 
enter him in a cat show but it only wanted pedigrees. Soon this cat became 
the center of my life. I always knew he would be home waiting for me when I 
got there. My big fear was that he would run off because cats aren't known 
for their fidelity. Even so, Lover was the most faithful creature I had met 
so far in New York. He was with me longer than all my so-called human 
friends had been put together. 

"I still had my sexual needs but I knew what kind of trouble I could get 
into trying to soothe them. One hot night I took a shower and lay on the bed 
naked with my legs spread. Lover jumped up next to me and in a silly move, I 
placed one of my hands over my vagina. 'Now why am I doing this?' I asked 
myself aloud and took my hand away. People who live alone for some time get 
into the habit of talking to themselves. I suppose it's a form of vocal 
masturbation. 

"Lover gazed at my nakedness with yellow eyes. He rubbed his head against my 
thigh and a bolt of ecstasy shot through my body! No man had ever given me 
quite that feeling. I cupped my hand under Lover's soft belly and picked him 
up. I placed him on my stomach and I felt my face burn with growing 
excitement. The small creature was under my complete control. I could do 
anything with him. 

"I placed Lover right on my hairy slit and he clawed at the pubic region 
gently. Those bolts of excitement keep flashing through my flesh. I took one 
of Lover's paws and slipped it into my vagina. His claws opened but he 
didn't try to hurt me. I moved the paw up and down along my opening like a 
phallic object and my heart began to pound heavily. I took the paw out and 
gasped. 'Lover ... Lover, will you marry me?" I asked. 

"The cat clawed gently at my pubic hairs again as if intrigued by this part 
of my human anatomy he had never come in contact with before. I cupped my 
hand under his soft belly and lifted him high over my head. I gazed at the 
spot where his feline penis lay encased in fur. I kissed the area and felt 
his tiny tube of sex react. I ran the tip of my tongue over the place 
between his hind legs and Lover hunched his body. Sexual desire was warming 
him. I had to remember that he had no female cat in which to love just as I 
had no male human. We were two of a kind. We had something in common. 

"As I licked the soft underbelly of the cat his penis started to erect. It 
grew out of his fur like a pinky finger or a slim, red candle. I opened my 
mouth and fellated the animal. Lover pumped his small body back and forth in 
a fornicating manner as I made oral love to him. I held his tiny, aroused 
body with both my hands and had to keep his claws from digging into my 
flesh. A stream of warm, salty liquid squirted into my mouth and I knew he 
had reached his climax. I kept mouthing Lover until I had taken all he had 
to offer and licked his penis as it became limp and withdrew into his fur 
again. 

"Lover began to purr after the sexual release and I placed him between my 
breasts. I pushed both of the globes of flesh together so that the inner 
sides of my tits rubbed against his furry body. My nipples stuck up hard 
like erected cat's penises themselves. My whole body roared with silent 
excitement. Never in my life had I ever had such a completely satisfying 
sexual experience. 

"I felt no guilt about making it with an animal then. After so many dashed 
hopes and lonely nights I was only grateful that I had some kind of outlet. 
My affair with the cat was a genuine love relationship. What was most 
thrilling about it was the fact that it went both ways. Lover loved me as 
much as I loved him. 

"When I boarded the bus going home from work every day I no longer envied 
the people next to me who probably had someone waiting for them. I no longer 
had to return to an empty apartment; I, too, had someone waiting for me. As 
soon as I put the key into the door my lover would come running. No human 
had ever been that anxious to see me before in my life. 

"I began to train the cat to perform other erotic acts upon my body. I 
poured milk into my cunt and had him lick it up. I spread my sexual opening 
wide apart so that he could run his tongue along the inner walls of my 
cleft. Lover also licked my tits when I poured milk over them and I gloried 
in the feeling of that rough, darting little tongue against my flesh. 

"Then, one day after work, I opened the door and Lover didn't come running. 
I searched the house madly calling for him and then I realized I had left 
one of the windows open which was something I had never done before. Lover 
had run out on me, deserted me like a human being! 

"I threw myself on the bed and cried aloud. 'Lover!' I screamed and pounded 
the pillows. Then I thought that he might have been run over and ran out 
into the street calling for him. A policeman stopped me thinking I had lost 
a child. When I told him that it was my cat he laughed and told me to take 
it easy. He just didn't know how much that animal meant to me. 

"After rushing all over the neighborhood I realized that Lover hadn't been 
run over and had to face the awful fact that I had been abandoned again. I 
went back to my apartment, got drunk and fell into a deep sleep. I called in 
sick the next morning and spent the rest of the day trying to get a grip on 
myself. He was only a cat, I kept telling myself but this was no comfort at 
all. The only comfort that helped me was the realization I could always find 
another animal. But ... I haven't. Lover wasn't just a pet; he was my lover 
and in this big, cold, paranoic city lovers are hard to find. Right now I'm 
living alone again. My doctor wants me to find someone to keep me company 
for the sake of my sanity. You see, I had a breakdown after Lover deserted 
me. I would like to have someone to love, I really would. But, after living 
in New York City for five years one learns not to be so quick about reaching 
out to another human being. Animals are safer." 

* * * 

Eva P., 34, lives in a fashionable apartment in Chicago. Because of the 
alimony payments she is receiving from her fourth ex-husband she does not 
have to go to work. She is well-built and on the brassy side. As she gave 
this interview, Tarzan, her Great Dane dog, lay on her feet allowing her to 
rub his body with her bare feet. 

"I'm not a bit shy about saying that Tarzan here is the best man I've ever 
found in my life and believe me, I've had 'em all. Ever since I was twelve 
boys and even grown men have been after my body. I developed early. I had 
the tits of an adult woman when I was fourteen. The first guy who ever made 
me was my stepfather. I think the only reason he married my mother was to 
get into me. 

"He busted my cherry wide open one night when he crept into my room. My 
mother, his wife, had gone visiting so he had me alone. 'Eva,' he grinned, 
'ever see a man's pecker?' The bastard really believed in the direct 
approach. 

"My stepfather pulled out his organ and waved it in my face. I was both 
disgusted and attracted by the exhibitionism because, after all, I'm a 
normal, healthy girl. When the freak sees I'm not going to scream or move 
away he pulls my pajama bottoms down and chews on my slit. I didn't know it 
at the time but he always had trouble getting his pecker up and he liked to 
use his mouth first to get his engine going. He opened the top part of my 
pajamas and sucked on both of my nipples. I knew that all this was wrong but 
this was my first real sex experience and I guess I was too aroused to say 
no. 

"He then put his body on mine and rammed his staff into my clit. I felt 
something break inside me and I knew it was my virginal veil. My stepfather 
lifted his body and pushed it down slowly, enjoying every inch of the 
love-making. Suddenly he rolled over and let his sperm shoot over my belly. 
'Don't want to give you a baby, baby,' he grinned. 

"That was the first time. It was hot and quick and it turned me into a 
woman. Once I found out that I could pick and choose any man I wanted for a 
husband I picked the richest one I could find. I was only seventeen at the 
time and what I considered rich was a bald creep who owned a bunch of cabs. 
He was forty and a bachelor who had a passion for young meat. He wanted me 
to be his mistress but I demanded a ring first. 

"It was a lousy marriage from the start. Once he got his rocks off on the 
wedding night he realized that he made a mistake in marrying me. All he 
wanted was a quick, shack-up and nothing more. The creep was a born bachelor 
who should never have gotten married. He made life so miserable for me that 
I agreed to the divorce. 

"I was too young then to know that I could've milked him for more money so I 
didn't think I was losing much when I lost the settlement to marry another 
guy. Number Two was a lush who was out of his skull most of his time on 
booze so I dropped him after eight months of drunken brawls. Number Three 
was my first millionaire. He had been married before and I soon found out 
why all his wives had left him ... he had this sick urge to inflict pain. 
Before we were married he was nice and sweet but, once he thought he owned 
my body through marriage, he showed me his other face. When I told the judge 
about his need to whip my poor ass I got the best settlement of all my three 
husbands. I would've been satisfied to go on collecting when Number Three 
went bankrupt through bad investments and I was broke again. 

"I hooked into my second millionaire and fourth husband two years ago. As 
you can see it didn't work out. The character used to bring home teenaged 
girls and have sex with them in front of me. Well, I wanted to be sure I'd 
get set for life with the next divorce settlement so I had a private 
detective get all kinds of evidence on Number Four's passion for 
teenyboppers. With this evidence I made my last husband give me a thousand a 
month. The dough will be rolling in for the rest of my life so I'd be a damn 
fool if I married again and lost the loot. 

"When I left the divorce court for the fourth and last time I suddenly 
realized that I had no feeling for men, none at all. Every man I had married 
had only been for money. I knew of divorced women who take on lovers but not 
me. After a twenty year career of marrying all the wrong men I was through 
with them for life. They were nothing but trouble. 

"I didn't want to live alone in this apartment without some kind of 
protection so I went shopping for a big, tough watchdog. The minute I put my 
eyes on Tarzan I knew that he was for me. 

"Once I brought him back to the apartment I realized that he was more than 
just a pet or a watchdog ... he was company. All my life I had to bear the 
yappings of human dogs demanding this and that but now that I had a real 
dog, the animal kind, I realized what I had missed in life and what none of 
my husband's had been able to give me. Tarzan gave me a sense of security. 
When I heard his big paws pad across the floor I breathed a sigh of relief 
because I knew that I was being protected. Every time I used to hear any of 
my husband's feet my stomach used to tighten because I knew that they would 
have some complaint to give or some rotten, perverted demand to make. 

"The sex stuff didn't start until almost six months after I had bought the 
Great Dane. I was in the apartment with him and noticed that he was hot and 
bothered. The poor beast was in a mating mood and since he didn't have any 
bitches to screw, rubbed up against arms of chairs. A couple of times he 
even tried to mount me. When he did I noticed what a big dick he had and how 
aroused he was. Feeling sorry for the animal I grabbed his flesh and started 
to masturbate him. 

"Tarzan rolled over on his back and panted with happiness as I commenced to 
relieve him of his burden. His sperm shot out and I had a quick memory of 
the time my stepfather had released himself outside my body. Men and dogs 
... how alike they were. 

"Now that the dog knew where to go to for sexual comfort he took to rubbing 
against me any time he needed release. I got to enjoy masturbating the big, 
beautiful creature. I suppose my own needs were being satisfied, too. 
Although I had given up human males I hadn't given up sex entirely. 

"The more I jerked Tarzan off the more I wanted even greater intimacies. One 
morning I got out of bed naked and found Tarzan gazing at my body. I got a 
kick out of standing in front of him in the nude and he walked over to me. 
He stuck his cold nose right into my vagina. What a sensation! I stepped 
back but he followed and pushed his nose right into my sexual opening. Then 
his big, thick tongue licked inside me and I gasped with pleasure. Men had 
gone down on me before but none have thrilled me as much as my big dog. His 
tongue went inside me deeper than any human had ever penetrated during a 
French job. I let Tarzan lick me and helped him along by bending over the 
bed with my back against the mattress, my feet on the floor and my legs 
spread wide. 

" 'If you could only screw me now,' I told the animal because he had made me 
ready for a good, healthy screwing. 

"Then I figured ... why not? What could be so difficult about getting a dog 
to make it with a human female. I urged Tarzan to stop Frenching me and had 
him put his front paws on the bed. I then grabbed his dick which was swollen 
and getting harder and placed the tip of it in my vagina. Once Tarzan found 
my warm, slitted opening he erected quickly and his penis slipped all the 
way into me. Now my dog isn't as well-endowed as is a human male but, as the 
saying goes: it isn't what you got, it's how you use it. 

"Tarzan, my Great Dane, is in an uncomfortable position because dogs don't 
screw in the human face-to-face way. I help him along by pushing my torso up 
towards him. His rutting organ keeps slipping out but I keep pushing it back 
in with my hand. Then he lets loose. It's the first male fluid I had had for 
a hell of a long time. I'm surprised at the force and amount of his stream; 
it is about the same as a human male's orgasm. 

"When I release the dog he licks my vagina again but this time with 
increased passion. I turn over on my belly and he licks between my butt 
halves. The rough, wet tongue against my anus makes me clutch at the 
mattress because I have to hold on to something in order to control myself. 

"Tarzan puts his front paws on the bed again and I feel his red power piston 
probing between my tunnel. He's aroused once more and now he wants to make 
it in his doggy fashion. I try to push my can up so he could get at my 
vagina but he finds my anal opening easier to get at. To Tarzan an opening 
is an opening and he doesn't realize he wants to Greek job me. 

"Men have screwed me in the rear before and I had never liked it because 
they always hurt even with lubricants. But the Great Dane's pecker is just 
the right size for sodomy. He rams his thing all the way into my anus with 
one stroke once he finds the mark and pumps. Since this position is much 
more comfortable for him he goes like blazes. I grab on to the bedcovers as 
he bangs away and has another orgasm. 

"Tarzan is satisfied now and leaves my body. It takes me a little longer to 
unwind. I lay on the bed moaning and groaning while Tarzan goes over to his 
bowl of water and licks it up. All that sex has made him thirsty. 

"From that day on we become lovers. I have friends who have female Great 
Danes they want to pair off with Tarzan but I told them that I'm bitch 
enough for the dog. They think I'm joking. If only they could see me in 
action with my animal lover. 

"I understand that dog ages seven years for everyone in a human being's 
life. This means that I can't count on Tarzan for satisfaction forever. In 
another year he will be middle-aged. In a year after that he will probably 
give up interest in sex. When that happens I'll just get me another dog. 
Hell, I've had me four husbands, haven't I? Why can't I have as many dogs? 

"Tarzan is a quick-study as far as sexual positions are concerned. I've 
taught him to screw me in the human fashion with him on top and me on the 
bottom face-to-face. When the bedroom is dark and we're both under the 
blanket I forget that he's an animal. For all I know he probably thinks of 
me as another dog. Well, all of my husband's called me a bitch. It looks 
like they were right after all." 

* * * 

Bernard, 38, is a bachelor real estate agent who owns the building he has an 
attractive apartment in. Quiet spoken, slender and financially secure he 
could have his pick of several of the single girls who are living in his 
building but he prefers the company of a pair of dogs; one male and the 
other female. These are mixed-breeds and rather large. The real estate agent 
is proud of the fact that the canine pair have accepted him as one of their 
own. 

"I'm not one of these people who turn to animals only because they cannot 
find satisfaction with humans. I have had intercourse with humans on social 
and sexual levels but I prefer the company of dogs. 

"In college I was something of a sex fiend with the girls, as a matter of 
fact. As a teen-aged stud with very active glands I chased anything that 
wore a skirt. When I reflect on my youth I realize that I was just trying to 
prove my manhood rather than chasing girls just because I was so wild about 
them. I don't mean that I'm a latent homosexual or anything like that. The 
idea of having sex with another male never entered my head. It was just that 
I was never really satisfied after the most intimate erotic contacts. There 
was always a certain emptiness within me that indicated I should seek out 
other forms of pleasure. 

"When I graduated college I took a crack at teaching for awhile because it 
seemed to be the quickest way to enter a profession. I wanted to think of my 
future because I was in love with a girl and wanted to marry her. At least, 
I thought I was in love with this girl. She had a good figure, long blonde 
hair and a very sensual disposition. I probably wanted to marry her only 
because she was one of the few girls who didn't allow me to get into her 
panties. Some girls get guys by rolling over on their backs as soon as 
they're touched while others, more subtle, do it the opposite way by making 
themselves appear precious and untouched and therefore more attractive than 
they really are. When I taught school and let the best part of my salary 
pile up in a bank account to support this coming marriage with my blonde 
goddess, I began to have second thoughts about her. Suppose I married her, 
had my orgasm and then realized she was just like any other girl? I would 
then be stuck for the rest of my life with someone I didn't care for but 
would have to care for financially all the rest of her days. One warm 
evening I decided to sample this golden product before I bought it. 

"I took Julie out for a drive and parked beside a romantic lake. She was now 
so sure of me, I suppose, that her guard was down and when I started pawing 
her tits. 'No, Bernard, no,' she said without much conviction as I peeled 
away her bra. She was worked up and ready to go all the way. I plastered my 
mouth against one of her nipples and started to suck. The nipple came to a 
point under the caressings of my tongue and I knew that she was willing to 
roll over for me even though she felt the need to put up a phony virgin act. 

" 'We shouldn't, Bernard,' she whispered. 'Just wait until we get married, 
darling. That will be time enough.' 

"I couldn't quite believe her so I aroused Julie further by licking both 
nipples entirely. She squirmed in the car seat and moaned in ecstasy. I 
peeled off her dress and took her panties down. In the moonlight she did 
look like a golden goddess more fiction than real. In hurried desperation I 
took off my trousers and shorts. Julie, seeing my penis, reached over and 
grabbed it hungrily. 'I've never seen a man like this before,' she told me. 

"With a sense of guilt that I was deflowering a virgin I pressed the girl 
against the seat. I mounted her quickly and rammed in my member. For a 
virgin her slit was loose and I encountered no resistance as I plowed my 
flesh into her body. 

"Julie threw caution to the winds and responded to me in kind by wrapping 
her bare legs around my thrusting hips. She kissed me hard with her mouth 
wide open and our tongues started making their own kind of love. I rammed 
into my bride-to-be with gusto and spilled over. 

" 'Bernard!' Julie gasped. 'Oh, Bernard, you're the best yet!' 

"She said the words before she had time to think. She had given herself 
away. I was the best compared to what other guy ... or bunch of guys? When I 
pulled out of her I looked down at her pubic area and found it untainted by 
her virginal blood. She had been leading me on all along like someone 
dangling a carrot in front of a mule to make it move. That carrot was 
supposed to be her virginity but now it was obvious she hadn't even had 
that. With the carrot gone the mule stopped. I washed my hands of the blonde 
deceiver and went my own way. 

"Julie changed my life, really. Because I no longer wanted her I felt free 
enough to give up the teaching profession which had never appealed to me. I 
traveled for a while on the money I had saved and running true to form, I 
banged broads left and right in every corner of the globe. After being 
drained of sexual desire one night I looked into the mirror and asked myself 
if I really did care for fornication all that much. I answered back that I 
really didn't and that began a period of celibacy for me. Now and then I got 
the itch for sex but I stilled the feeling by drinking. I never became an 
alcoholic so my problem wasn't all that bad. 

"Freed of the responsibility of loving other human beings I directed all my 
energies into building up my real estate business. After ten years of effort 
I reached a point where I could retire full time and not have to worry about 
working again for as long as I live. 

"As a fairly wealthy, fairly young bachelor invitations to parties, dinners 
and cocktails came to me in a flood. I responded to a few only to find that 
girls looked upon me as a 'catch' because of my lofty financial station. I 
avoided being caught because I didn't consider myself a dumb fish who was 
born to be a meal for some smart fisher woman. 

"With all my spare time I still felt the pangs of loneliness. I just had to 
have something, if not someone, to talk to so I bought a dog. She was a big 
mutt and very friendly and out of a feeling of irony, I named her Julie. It 
did my heart good to order the animal around by saying; 'Here, Julie! Down, 
Julie!' Unlike her human namesake the dog was very obedient. I could also 
trust the animal completely which was more than I could say for any human 
I've ever come in contact with both on a business and a romantic level. 

"I had Julie three months before sex entered the picture. Julie was in heat 
one day and kept rubbing her sexual part against the legs of chairs to 
masturbate her tensions away. 'What you need is to get laid, Julie,' I told 
her and patted her back. 

"The dog, feeling this new pressure, rubbed up against my arm. I was put off 
balance by her assault and grabbed the first thing I could as I fell. What I 
grabbed was her vagina and one of my fingers slipped right into her sexual 
opening. 

"Julie panted with relief and not wanting to frustrate her any longer, I 
used my finger as a phallus and thrust it in and out of her body. Sexual 
release made her whole being shiver and it also aroused my sleeping needs. I 
opened my trousers and exposed my lust-stiffened organ. I knelt behind the 
dog and pressed the head of my male member against her vagina. Julie seemed 
to realize that this pressure didn't come from a finger and pushed back into 
me. My sex organ was too large for her yet the animal, in extreme heat now, 
wanted what love I could give her. 

"I pushed the head of my pecker into the dog slowly and she whined in a 
mixture of pain and need. I inched in a bit further and the dog, overcome 
with erotic arousal, pawed wildly at the floor, her eyes bulging. I spewed 
out my orgasm and Julie whined even louder as she recognized the completion 
of the male sex act. When I withdrew Julie walked away from me and kept 
rolling against the floor in the next room. After a few minutes of this she 
calmed down and returned to me. Smelling herself on my now limp meat she 
licked me there which caused another erection. The dog kept licking me until 
I had another climax. She ran her tough tongue over the head of my 
upthrusted flesh to lick up the escaping fluid. It was time for my entire 
being to shiver now. This had been the best sexual experience in my active 
love life. 

"I suppose there is a sense of guilt that accompanies every initial bestial 
sex act and I was in torment after mine. I had had sex relations with a dog! 
This nagging fact forced me into a whirl of social events where I met and 
laid human females. 

"But I could never fall in love with any girl I met. Something in me 
prevented the birth of genuine romance. I found myself longing for another 
experience with my dog. At least with the animal I could let myself go and 
not fear that someone is out to catch me for my money. Julie, the dog, would 
be just as happy if I were a poor beggar if only she got enough to eat, a 
place to sleep ... and love. 

"In my next experience with the dog I took her into my bed and used my 
fingers on her sexual opening. She panted and licked me in gratitude. Julie, 
remembering just what kind of pleasure I could give her, licked my male 
member until it became upright. I had only wanted to use my fingers but, 
seeing that the dog herself desired penial penetration, I thrust the organ 
into her body once more. 

"The animal was used to the size of my organ now and I inched into her a 
little before she pawed at the pillows to indicate she could take no more of 
me. But, as painful as the intercourse was, Julie still came back to me 
looking for more love. In the next experience I managed to put my entire sex 
organ into her body before the animal demanded release. 

"I still could not shake off that feeling of guilt so I bought a male dog to 
supply Julie with the affections she required. I had the animal made sterile 
because I didn't want to complicate matters with an apartment full of 
puppies. Because I had bought the dog just to give sexual satisfaction I 
named him Gigolo. 

"Gigolo was true to his name and mounted Julie five minutes after I brought 
him into the apartment. His penis was a bright red stick of flesh as it 
rutted into the bitch dog. He was also a rough lover because he liked to 
bite Julie's ears in the midst of a sex act. Well, maybe Julie, as many of 
her human counterparts, loved to be treated roughly. 

"The three of us settled down to a unique design for living; one human and 
two animals. Julie, quickly became a teaser with two males in the house and 
she snubbed Gigolo now and then for me just to show him that he wasn't the 
only stud in the world. Gigolo, in turn, became envious of me because I had 
so much more between my legs than he had. I soon found myself entering into 
this doggy affair by walking around the apartment naked just to watch the 
reactions of my pets. 

"When Julie was in heat one day I decided to be the one to satisfy her just 
to see what Gigolo would do. I got behind Julie and inched my sex organ all 
the way into her and rutted in the fashion of canines. Gigolo didn't seem to 
like me taking over his only real job and paced back and forth in 
frustration. When I climaxed inside Julie the stud dog, unable to contain 
himself any longer, mounted me. He thrust his red stick into my anus and 
sodomized me while I was still locked sexually to the bitch animal. Since 
Julie's opening was small and tight I couldn't pull myself out quickly 
without hurting her so I allowed the male dog to fornicate my anal passage. 
He shot his fluid into me and then withdrew when he was satisfied. I waited 
until my own flesh grew limp inside Julie's body before I withdrew. 

"As soon as the contact was broken Gigolo surprised me further by licking my 
sexual parts. It was the first time in my life I realized that animals were 
homosexually-inclined. My life was now complete." 

 SUMMARY: 

Bestiality refers to sexual contact between a human being and an animal. 
This particular sexual aberration has existed since earliest times. 
References to it can be found in the Old Testament and the Talmud. According 
to these codes if a man was apprehended in sexual proximity with an animal 
the punishment meted out to him was death. 

For the past thirty years I have studied how men and women satisfy their 
most powerful desires by using animals as sex partners. 

My research has taken me to every corner of the earth and I have spoken to 
and interviewed thousands of people. One startling fact has emerged from my 
work. Sexual contact between animals and humans is widespread in every 
country of the world and in every strata of society. The various perversions 
and methods differ from country to country but the need to have passionate 
contact with the sexual organs of animals is a constant one. 

We should not be surprised at the fact that the human species feels the need 
for the hot and violent passion of animals. Civilization has robbed many of 
us of the ability to let ourselves go sexually and therefore the primitive 
grandeur of the sexual act has been lost. But the animal kingdom has not 
been touched by civilization. They can still lose themselves in the glory of 
the body. Another thing we must remember is that mankind is only a few 
thousand years removed from the animal kingdom. Every sexual contact with 
animals is more than the gratification of lust; it is a return to our 
origins and an opportunity to regain some of our lost qualities. 

There are two general categories of erotic encounters between man and beast. 
The first and most widespread is where an animal is substituted for a human. 
An example of this is when a man finds the vagina of a well-bred female dog 
to be superior to the vagina of a woman. Or when a young woman finds that 
she cannot be satisfied by the penis of any man she has met and has sex with 
a passionate, high-strung stallion. 

But there is another category equally important. This is where the human 
uses animals to satisfy herself or himself in a way that another human can 
never accomplish. One of the most interesting facts disclosed by my studies 
is that in a highly industrialized nation like America, animalism is 
growing. More and more American men and women are turning to non-humans for 
sexual satisfaction. Why this is happening I will leave to the sociologist 
and the historian to explain ... 

 Chapter III Case History: 

 Sid and Shirlee: Married. 

It often takes only one small incident to break through the puritan 
mentality of certain housewives and send them on a headlong flight into the 
perverted world of animalism. 

The case we are about to present is a classic example of such a process. 

Sid and Shirlee were an affluent couple with a breathtaking apartment in one 
of San Francisco's most exclusive neighborhoods. He was a very successful 
lawyer with a wide range of social and cultural interests. Shirlee, at 
thirty-two, was still young and vibrant. She spent her days between caring 
for the apartment and collecting modern art, which she had developed a 
consuming passion for to keep her busy while her husband was away on 
business. 

Sid, in spite of being almost forty, still possessed a child's love of a 
practical joke. His allegiance to that form of activity was so intense, in 
fact, that he joined a club of wealthy professional men who shared that 
allegiance. 

It was only one of the many strange clubs on the West Coast that operated in 
the utmost secrecy. The members were interested in only one thing; finding 
an outlet for their bizarre sense of humor. Sid fit in like a glove and was 
soon highly respected by the members for his originality in thinking up 
humorous schemes. The club made a point not to tolerate any of the vulgar 
popular jokes which are such a part of American folklore, such as the 
exploding cigar. Instead, they were interested in the sophisticated, 
thought-out maneuver whereby the victim would realize that he was chosen 
because of some flaw in his own character. They envisioned themselves as 
practical philosophers who ultimately performed an important social task. 

Once a year, each member of the club was obliged to perform such a joke on a 
close relative. Sid was determined to perform it on his wife. He laid his 
plans carefully. Then he proceeded to act. He invited Shirlee to a meeting 
of the club. Her reply was: 

"Look, Sid, I'm not really interested in your silly jokes." 

"This has nothing to do with jokes. The club members have a dinner once a 
year which is considered a gourmet's dream. All joking is suspended for that 
evening. The only thing out of the ordinary is a small contest during which 
we blindfold ourselves and try to identify certain dishes. The winner of the 
contest gets an engraved cup. Oh, it may be silly, but it's traditional and 
I'd like you to come." 

It was a formal dinner so Shirlee had to purchase a dress and Sid rented a 
tuxedo. It had been so long since she had attended any kind of formal dinner 
that she became strangely excited. They arrived at the club's town house 
before nine o'clock. A doorman dressed in a plain brown uniform opened the 
massive doors and let them into the Victorian mansion. It was dark inside 
but hands reached out and took their coats. 

Sid led his wife up the steep flight of marble stairs to the main dining 
where the dinner was being served. 

Shirlee was extremely impressed by the decor of the house and by the massive 
quality of the fixtures. Nothing seemed to have changed in it for hundreds 
of years. Sid opened the door and they stepped into a well-lighted room 
where a long table had already been set. There were about ten other couples 
already there. 

More couples drifted in and finally they sat down to eat. The food was truly 
excellent. Shirlee whispered to Sid that she apologized for ever having 
doubted him and that it was the most delicious meal she had ever eaten. Dish 
after dish of exotic food was served, each of them more succulent, each of 
them prepared with great style. 

After coffee, Sid began to rap his fork against the table as a signal for 
silence. He stood and addressed those present: 

"Now we will begin what has come to be a yearly ritual. Each of the women 
present, in turn, will place a blindfold over their eyes and try to guess 
the dish which is presented to them." 

The contest began and it was a lot of fun for all of them. As each woman 
played and guessed, she was then required to wait outside until the final 
selection and the crowning of the winner. Finally, only Shirlee was left of 
all the women and the men assembled watched her closely as she put on the 
blindfold. 

The dish was served. 

"Open your mouth," Sid said. 

She obeyed and she felt the delicacy slip between her lips. It was long and 
spongy. At first she thought it was some type of fruit, just by its length 
and texture. But then she realized that it had the unmistakable taste of 
meat. 

"Are you ready to answer?" Sid asked her. 

She nodded her head from side to side to show that she had not yet made a 
decision. 

"Then let it go deeper into your mouth. The taste buds there are more 
sensitive," Sid advised her. 

Shirlee obeyed and the dish moved deeper into her mouth. As she tried to 
make a decision, the thing began to have a strange effect upon her. Her 
mouth became heated and moist. Her lips began to tremble and she was forced 
to grasp the sides of the table with her hands to steady herself. 

A number of men in the room called out to her to hurry with an answer. She 
sucked on the elongated dish, trying to extract a more definite taste other 
than the general one that it was some type of meat. 

"Twenty seconds left," warned Sid. 

She pulled it out of her mouth and said: 

"I give up. I haven't the slightest idea what it was." 

Someone took it from her and Shirlee began to remove the blindfold. Peals of 
laughter came from the men in the room. Suddenly, she heard chairs moving 
back and she felt that all the men were leaving the room. It was difficult 
taking the cloth off her eyes, but finally she unknotted it. 

Looking around, she saw no one except Sid, who was grinning at her. She felt 
a sudden chill as if a disclosure was about to be made which would have a 
profound effect upon her. 

"The dish in front of you, Shirlee. Look at it." 

There was something in Sid's gleeful words which scared her. For some reason 
she did not want to look at the dish. 

Sid moved to her and forced her head down, to the dish. 

She saw it and became white. Her whole body began to tremble. Then, her 
long, piercing, almost hysterical scream echoed through the room. 

On the plate was a freshly-severed bull's penis, its tip pointing toward 
her. 

Shirlee lost consciousness. When she came to, Sid was standing over her. 

"I didn't know, Shirlee, it would affect you. It was only a joke." 

She looked at him but did not answer. She felt weaker than she had ever been 
in her life. He helped her up and they went home. 

* * * 

Shirlee recovered very slowly from that incident. She tried to analyze why 
it had affected her so badly, but the whole thing remained a mystery. Even 
when she no longer thought of that bull's organ, consciously, it began to 
intrude in her dreams. Gradually, it became so bad that she could not sleep 
for fear of conjuring up that horrible organ. 

During our interview, Shirlee related the exact moment when she realized why 
she had been so brutalized by the incident. It occurred about a month after 
the actual event. 

"I was seated in the kitchen. It was late at night and Sid was already 
asleep. My eyes were closing from fatigue but I was afraid to sleep for fear 
of meeting that organ once again. 

"Then, while sitting there, my lips began to burn. At first I thought some 
foreign matter had fallen on them, but after wiping them with tissue paper, 
the burning sensations still persisted. 

"It gradually spread to my whole mouth. My tongue became hot and moist. My 
lips began to tremble. And then, my mind began to do strange things. 

"I envisioned that horrible bull's organ once again and the moment its 
picture appeared in my imagination, I began to tremble. 

"Only this time I was not trembling from fear. I was trembling with lust. I 
wanted once again to feel its power and length between my lips. I wanted to 
have it slide between my lips and rest beneath my anxious tongue. 

"I wanted to suck on that beast's organ until my mouth was dissolved by its 
fiery thrust." 

Shirlee gradually was released from her hallucination. She rushed into the 
bedroom, woke her husband and began to curse him bitterly, actually striking 
him on the face. Her husband pushed her away and shouted at her: 

"You fool! I admit the joke I played on you was cruel, but the seeds of your 
guilt were within you. Think! Don't you know the reason you reacted so 
violently to that harmless little joke? I'll tell you. Remember when you 
refused to indulge in any oral sex activities with me? Remember when you 
turned away in shame when I offered you my organ? Of course you do. The fact 
is that you have repressed the oral desire all of your life and the bull's 
cock, resting so beautifully between your hungry lips, broke through that 
repression and allowed your subconscious desire to surface. Perhaps, my 
dear, your desire is more for animals than the human variety." 

She listened to his words in horror but she did not reply. Sitting down in a 
chair beside the bed, she buried her face in her hands. Something had to be 
done, she realized. Some way had to be found to still the turmoil within 
her. 

Eventually she succumbed to her psychic needs. Here, in her own words, is 
the way in which she coped with the terrible desires which had surfaced in 
her: 

"I told Sid I was leaving for a few days. He agreed that I needed a 
vacation. There was a small resort a few hours from San Francisco and I went 
there. Unknown to him, I picked the place because it was in close proximity 
to a farm which bred Black Angus cattle and various other prize breeds. 

"The first few days at the resort, I rested in the sun. On the night of the 
third day, I began walking quickly to the farm. Most of the workers were 
asleep and I wondered about the fenced field. Suddenly, I saw, under a tree, 
the most magnificent bull, resting quietly. 

"My heart began to beat furiously. I thrust my hand inside my blouse and 
stroked my naked breast in order to ease the excitement. Then I crept 
through the fence and began to approach him. The bull became nervous and 
snorted once or twice. I began to talk to him gently, saying nonsense words 
but trying to calm him. My eyes and whole body were riveted on the dark spot 
beneath him where I knew my destiny would be waiting. 

"My hand went between my thighs for a moment, to feel the heat coming from 
my flower, to luxuriate in the lust which was moving through my body. 

"I was a foot away. He was magnificent. How strange, I thought, that all of 
my life I have been deprived of such beauty. 

"I stroked his powerful back and muzzle, but slowly my hands were moving to 
his center of life. I touched it and I almost wept as the massive shaft 
leaped into my hand. My fingers felt as if they possessed the most divine 
wisdom. The palms of my hands were like passionate gloves existing only to 
manipulate that flesh. 

"The bull did not move then. He seemed to be waiting for me. I bent down and 
crawled beneath him on all fours. 

"I kissed it. Yes, I kissed it with all the passion my lips could muster. 
The weapon began to move out of its protective sheath. My eyes widened in 
fascination. A few moments later the furious red cock was in front of me. 
Every fibre trembled. Every part of me reacted with lust. 

"I moved under him and opened my mouth. As the fiery cock slid in, my eyes 
filled with tears and I dug my fingers into his underbelly. The night, the 
sky, the earth, all made a setting of other worldly grandeur, but when my 
teeth sunk into that organ and the bull moved, I had reached a reality more 
intense than any other moment in my life. 

"The beast began to waver from side to side under my juicy lips. 

"I was caught in a whirlwind of powerful movement but I held on. After all 
the years of repression, my desires had finally escaped and they moved to 
the point of contact; my lips and tongue which were sucking on that inflamed 
club. 

"Then it was all over. I could not bring the beast to orgasm, but my lips 
were sated for the while." 

The next night Shirlee returned to the bull. This time the creature seemed 
to recognize her. She described that second meeting: 

"I wanted more than his organ this time. I wanted the total force of his 
primitiveness to penetrate me. I wanted to be raped by that brute. 

"Again I held that mysterious organ in my hand and lavished all of my love 
on it. Each inch of flesh was covered by my hungry lips. I let my nipples 
move against it and shivered when his inflamed ram rod met my vibrating 
points. 

"But even with it within my mouth, even with all that glory in me, I wanted 
more. I moved to the fence and the bull followed me. Holding on there, I 
tried to push my vagina to his massive face. The great tongue flicked out 
and lapped my vagina with such force that I almost went through the other 
side. 

"Frustrated, I moved beneath him again and grasped that twisting organ, 
forcing it between my thighs, trying to savagely penetrate me. 

"But it was too big. No matter how I forced it, it would not enter. I began 
to weep with rage and every part of my body was screaming with anticipation. 
The sweat poured down my naked body. Unable to effect entry, I let go of 
that primitive rod and wandered, forlorn and despairing in the field. Then I 
saw a knotted stick. Quickly, I picked it up and raced to the bull. The 
beast snorted and scraped the dirt with his hoof. 

"I ignored him and moved underneath again. As I took the flesh in my mouth, 
with my other hand I rammed the knotted stick deep in my anus. Thus, we 
moved together, in unison, my lips rising and falling against his stiff 
flesh and the stick plunging brutally and sensually between my thighs. 

"That time it happened. Suddenly, the bull began to quiver and a second 
later my mouth was filled with the most beautiful liquid, the hot, sweet 
seed of a beast. Seconds passed and then my own body responded to the stick 
and the orgasm left me a quaking mass of flesh on Mother Earth. 

"I lay there for a long while. My face was buried in that soil. It seemed as 
if I had returned to everything that was decent. I don't know how many hours 
I lay there, but I left just as the first rays of dawn were beginning to 
appear. 

"Looking back, I saw the massive silhouette of the bull. And I knew then why 
the ancient Greeks and other civilizations had decorated their precious 
pottery with the figure of the bull. That animal, above all, was the 
spiritual reincarnation of the cock. That animal, above all, could show the 
way to freedom, which for me, was the taste of his organ. 

"When I arrived back at the lodge, I realized that I was free. Quickly I 
packed and returned home. It was late and Sid was in bed. Without saying a 
word I rushed at him and opened his pajamas. Extracting his inert organ from 
the fabric, my lips brought it quickly to a state of excitement. A second 
later he cried out as the seed poured from him, into my waiting love." 

* * * 

It is quite a remarkable story. At present the couple is quite happy and 
Shirlee claims that she has had no relapse into animalism. Furthermore, she 
told me that her sexual life with Sid now includes all forms of oralism, 
which she finds quite delightful. 

We do not have enough information yet to know whether such single interludes 
with animals are common. But one thing is definite and that is Shirlee's use 
of perverted animalism, brought on by one chance incident, as a therapeutic 
aid. 

If our research shows that her case is common, then many views held by 
psychologists as to the harmful effects of such perversions will have to be 
revised. 

 CASE HISTORY: Rushel, age 54. 

Rushel is a wealthy society matron who gives her time and efforts to charity 
drives. Her husband died a few years ago and her children are all grown with 
families to take care of themselves. Rushel lives in a fashionable New York 
apartment with a maid for company. She is good looking and seems about ten 
years younger than she really is. She does not have to worry about finding 
men because they seek her out. Being a realist she contends that they are 
really after her money which is reported to be over the ten million dollar 
mark. 

The reason the society matron went to a psychiatrist in the first place was 
because of terrible headaches she kept having that had no physical cause. 
The doctor assumed that the woman was going through change of life. He 
encouraged Rushel to talk about her past and from what he gathered, she 
appeared to have led a very sedate, trouble-free existence. As a child she 
went to a posh finishing school, was a very popular debutante, had married 
an heir to an industrial fortune, raised happy children and appeared to have 
settled down to her widowhood amid her millions. 

Why would such a woman have problems? The headaches she had were obviously 
mentally based and the doctor probed to find out just what was causing her 
disturbance. The woman had no homosexual problems. Her relations with men 
were proper and stable. Her life with her husband had been a happy one. And 
yet the doctor still felt that sex was at the bottom of her problem. 

After the sixth session on the couch the doctor had Rushel talk about movies 
she had enjoyed. Sometimes this could lead to a clue about her leanings. 

Rushel's eyes brightened. "King Kong!" she announced quickly. "I saw that 
movie when it first came out. I was just a girl then but I can't forget that 
picture! Every time it comes on T.V. I see it. I know it is really a 
childish movie but I can't help myself. I even dream about scenes from that 
movie." 

The doctor did not demonstrate any reaction but he knew he had stumbled upon 
something important. To be attracted to a certain movie is revealing enough 
but to actually dream about it indicated that this was a valuable clue to 
the problem. 

"What scenes do you dream about?" the doctor asked casually. 

Again the matron answered quickly. "That part where King Kong climbs up the 
building and reaches in the girl's bedroom! Imagine having a giant ape 
kidnap you!" 

Rushel shuddered as she recalled both her dream and the movie. 

"And then King Kong took the girl in her bedclothes up the Empire State 
building. The ape was really in love with the girl, can you imagine that? I 
always dream about that part where he looks at her with his huge rolling 
eyes and then puts her gently down on top of the Empire State. Sometimes I 
even wake up with tears in my eyes when I dream of him being killed by those 
planes." 

As Rushel talked about crying she reached for a handkerchief and dabbed her 
eyes. This was the first real emotion the doctor had been able to get out of 
the matron. 

When the session ended the doctor knew that he was near the core of her 
problem. Why was she so attracted to this giant ape? It was obvious to him 
that she related with the actress who had been grabbed and taken out of her 
bedroom. It was also obvious that her affection toward King Kong was a 
sexual one. 

On the next session the doctor probed still deeper into her dreams and 
musings. He felt the woman begin to resist him and this convinced him that 
he was getting near a tender spot. It took all of the doctor's patient skill 
to do it but he finally got the society matron to talk about one of her 
favorite daydreams. 

"Sometimes I just want to give it all up ... this noisy, busy life of mine. 
How I dreaded all those teas I had to give for the wives of my husband's 
clients. How I hated going to affairs I didn't want to go to but had to 
because it was expected of me. Even when I was at the opera my mind used to 
wander ... I used to think of myself as a native living naked in the jungle. 
I used to imagine myself climbing trees going up, up, up, up until I left 
the world far below. I wondered what it would be like not to be human at all 
but an animal ... an ape. All one needs to live is to eat, to sleep, to 
love. Apes do all these. What would it be like to be a female ape instead of 
a female human? Sometimes I could almost see myself lying in the branches of 
a tremendous tree when a male ape shows up. The male is massive and hairy. 
His eyes roll over me in sheer animal lust. Then He comes near me in all his 
naked, beastial glory. His manly part is standing up like a flagpole and I 
know that he is about to shove himself into me. I wait. And then he pounces 
on me. Oh, that flagpole of his just about goes out my spine! He keeps 
ramming and ramming and ramming ... " 

Suddenly the society matron became aware of what she had been saying. She 
had revealed one of her favorite erotica musings. "Oh, I'm sorry, doctor," 
she blushed. "I didn't mean to go on like that." 

The doctor smiled and showed that he was not disturbed. "All of us have 
dreams," he said. 

"But ... about animals?" 

"You would be surprised how many people have dreams much like yours." 

By the simple question of asking his patient what kind of movies she liked, 
the doctor had discovered a wide streak of animalism in the woman. It was 
buried deep but the strange and perverted leaning was there. It had been 
there all along. 

The doctor concluded that Rushel, while seeming to enjoy her protected life, 
actually hungered for danger and lust. Since her posh upbringing forbade her 
to have such thoughts about men she turned them to animals. Seeing the 
movie, "King Kong," focused her animalistic inclinations on apes. Rushel 
hoped that some great beast would steal her away and make love to her. She 
wanted to enjoy real life for once instead of her rounds of teas and social 
gatherings. 

The matron had managed to repress her buried feelings when she had a husband 
and children to take care of. But, at the age of fifty-two, she found 
herself alone in the world again. The social gatherings now had no meaning 
at all. At least, when her husband was alive, she had to attend them for 
business purposes. 

Out of her need to enjoy raw emotion again the matron fell back on her old, 
animalistic dreams. Since they were still just dreams she could not have any 
real satisfaction. This frustration led to her headaches. 

The doctor explained his findings to the woman and she was shocked. "Why, I 
never heard of such a thing! You sound like a dirty pervert! I have a mind 
to report you to the medical board!" 

This was a familiar charge to the doctor. The majority of his patients could 
not stand the revealed truth about themselves. They usually took it out on 
the doctor. 

But, once Rushel was made to accept the fact that she had an urge to mate 
with animals and why she had this urge, the matron no longer had headaches. 
She returned to the doctor for advice. "What must I do ... go and live in a 
tree with an ape?" 

The doctor smiled. "You don't have to go that far. But, what you should do 
is attend less social affairs. Just go to the ones you really want to go to. 
Take up new interests. Travel, enjoy a freer life without all these social 
pressures." 

"But ... I have obligations to my charities," she argued. 

"You also have an obligation to yourself," the doctor said. "Charities will 
always be around but you must enjoy life while you can." 

The wealthy matron took his advice. She returned to the doctor's office a 
few months later tanned and smiling. She seemed trimmer and younger. 
"Doctor, I want to invite you personally to my wedding!" she greeted. 

The woman had met a man in her travels and she assured him that he was no 
fortune hunter. Although the groom-to-be was a truck driver several years 
younger than herself he had not known about her millions until after he had 
proposed. 

When the doctor went to the wedding he saw Rushel's new mate for the first 
time. He was a hulking, hairy man who looked ill-at-ease in his rented 
morning suit. He looked, in fact, very much like a dressed-up ape ... King 
Kong, to be more exact. 

Rushel had found a healthy outlet for her animalistic leanings in a human 
being. 

 CASE HISTORY: Arthur W., age 26. 

Arthur is a school teacher, married and with two small children. His 
problems began with insomnia. He tried sleeping pills but he became addicted 
to them. His work at school suffered when he took pills to sleep and other 
pills to keep himself awake. In time the school authorities found out about 
his inability to teach his young charges and they recommended that he see a 
psychiatrist to see what was troubling him so. Arthur, worn down by his 
sleeplessness and his pills, agreed to go. 

The first thing Arthur asked for was some more sleeping pills but the doctor 
warned him against it. Sleeping pills should only be used sparingly and not 
as a regular diet. He had to be retrained to sleep without drugs. 

To even begin to retrain him the doctor had to first know what it was that 
prevented him from sleeping in the first place. When the doctor examined his 
past life he appeared to be a bright, studious type who always got good 
marks in school. His sex life didn't seem exciting, however and he went into 
his marriage, at the age of twenty-two, as a virgin groom. 

This was about as far as Arthur would allow the investigation into his sex 
life to go. "I have no sex problems so let's drop it," he told the doctor 
sharply. 

The doctor didn't probe any further but he felt sure that the young man was 
hiding something. He then switched to the area of dreams. "When you do get 
to sleep do you have any dreams?" the doctor asked. 

"Dreams?" the school teacher answered. "They are more like nightmares." 

"Tell me about them." 

"Well, I can't exactly phrase this right but, when I find myself falling off 
to sleep I feel so ... so helpless." 

"Helpless?" 

"You know what I mean. When you are asleep you are at the mercy of things 
and people. Maybe that's why I can't go to sleep easily." 

"You spoke of nightmares," the doctor went on. "Do you have any one that 
keeps recurring?" 

"Yes, a really wild one about snakes. The funny thing is I like snakes. I 
like to handle them but, in my dreams, these animals suddenly become 
fearsome things. I feel at the mercy of them. I feel as if they are out to 
destroy me. When I fall asleep I find myself on an empty plain. I'm naked. I 
don't see the snakes at first but I know they are there. And then I feel one 
starting to curl around my leg. I try to pull away but another drops across 
my shoulder. When I pull that one away two more jump on me. Pretty soon I'm 
covered by snakes and I fall down. The animals keep twisting and turning all 
over my body. They enter into me through my mouth and anus. I feel them 
inside me, spitting and eating. And that is how the nightmare ends, with 
these snakes destroying me." 

The doctor jotted down his words without comment. Then he said, "And you say 
that you really like snakes?" 

"Yes, that's the oddest part of all. I've owned snakes ever since I was a 
kid. Most kids have dogs but I always was a bit different. I would still 
have them except that my wife won't allow them in the house. I can 
understand that. Women can't stand snakes and with the children, I guess it 
is better to keep them out." 

The doctor got Arthur to talk more about his snake pets. As a boy he used to 
keep them by the dozen in the basement of his home. Since he was an only 
child his parents indulged him. Arthur talked almost lovingly about his pets 
and about how smooth and dry they felt in his hands. "I tell you, doctor," 
he said, "those snakes were my best friends. I could get along with them 
better than people." 

For awhile the doctor avoided the subject of his childhood hobby and his 
nightmares and carefully probed him about his friends and companions. The 
doctor discovered that Arthur seemed to admire athletic types. Since he was 
not athletic himself he looked up to track stars and baseball players. 

With what the doctor learned so far about him he began to develop a 
diagnosis but he needed just a bit more information to pull everything into 
place. Arthur had not always had these nightmares and this insomnia. They 
had started at a very precise time. When the doctor questioned the school 
teacher about his life at school at the time his problems began he found 
that he had been given the duty of helping the gym teacher. It was his job 
to see that the boys took showers and to keep them in order. 

Now the doctor formed his conclusion. Arthur was a latent homosexual. The 
shakes were fairly obvious phallic symbols in his dreams especially when 
they entered his mouth and anus to spit and eat inside his body. This was 
exactly what Arthur wanted, to have male organs thrust into him. 

As a boy the school teacher's admiration for athletic types was the first 
indication of his homosexual leanings. Too shy to actually make love to 
these boys he turned to loving snakes instead. When Arthur spoke of how 
wonderful the snakes felt in his hand he was really talking about male sex 
organs. 

But Arthur never gave into his homosexual leanings and managed to repress 
them. He married and had children but his urges still remained. They sprang 
to life when he was sent to the gym where he watched husky young boys 
showering themselves. Their exposed organs thrilled him but he dared not 
even admit this to himself. If he ever tried to molest one of these boys he 
would be fired ... destroyed. 

While Arthur managed to control his homosexuality in his waking hours he 
could not control his dreams where this urge came slithering out at him in 
the form of snakes. It was in these dreams he was found out and destroyed. 

Arthur was not aware of the connection between the snakes and male organs 
but he somehow gathered that his nightmares were pointing up the problem he 
never dared face. To sleep meant to dream and to dream meant to have himself 
exposed, naked, on a plain with "snakes" crawling into his body. It was 
little wonder that he complained of being "helpless" in sleep and at the 
"mercy" of things and people. 

It is always difficult for a doctor to inform his patient that he has 
homosexual leanings. No matter how the doctor tried to phrase his conclusion 
the school teacher was angry. He struck the doctor in the face and stalked 
out of the office. Being punched by angry patients was an occupational 
hazard among psychiatrists. 

A week or so later Arthur came back to apologize. He also came back to say 
that he had agreed with the doctor's findings. Once he admitted his 
homosexual leanings to himself he was no longer afraid of them and once he 
was no longer afraid of them, his nightmares disappeared. When the 
nightmares no longer bothered him he felt no fear about falling to sleep and 
his insomnia was cured. 

"Do you think I'll ever touch one of these boys?" the teacher wanted to 
know. 

"I doubt it," the doctor replied. "Since you've managed to control these 
feelings all your life there is no reason why you can't go on doing so. 
However, if you like, you can drop this extra work you are doing at the gym. 
I can tell the school authorities that you will get more sleep if you had 
this much less work to do." 

The teacher agreed and he was no longer faced with the temptation of looking 
at handsome nude boys in the shower rooms. The cured patient began to sleep 
regularly without pills once more, a wiser man. 

Most of us, at one time or another, had the urge to murder someone but very 
few of us do it. So it is with animalism. As long as this perversion, like 
the need to kill, is kept safely within dreams and imagination we need not 
worry. 

 Chapter IV Animals & Analism 

Only in one field is it extremely difficult to persuade a man or woman to 
admit and relate at length their experiences. This lies in the area of 
intimate sexual behavior with animals or feathered creatures. Rare indeed is 
the bestialist who is willing to cooperate fully. However, now and then, one 
comes along who is not only ready to relate sexual practices in this line, 
but is almost proud of the conquests. 

One such case was the following testimony from a 22 year old artist in 
Amarillo, Texas: 

 CASE HISTORY: 

"I met this nice-looking doll on an exterior job I was contracted for on a 
twelve-unit apartment. The interior needed it just as badly, but the owner 
didn't want to put the money in. I could see it was tight money, so I didn't 
argue. I got half my fee before I started. I've been signed before on this 
kind of project. 

"Anyway, when I saw the nice chick who lived on the ground floor, I figured 
I just might find some little extras on the job to help make the work go 
easier. My hunch was right. I don't think I had even painted half of a wall 
before she was asking me if I wanted to share her lunch. I played it cool 
and acted like I wasn't eager. Then, I graciously accepted her invitation 
and went in. We had a couple cans of beer and she fixed some bologna 
sandwiches. She was wearing a play suit. Every time she crossed her legs, I 
wanted to play. She caught me looking at her thighs a couple of times and 
she didn't mind. We finished eating and she asked if I was still hungry. I 
figured I'd find out fast how things stood. I told her I was still not 
satisfied. She asked what else I wanted. I looked her in the eye and said 
she was what I really needed to top my lunch off. She smiled and moved to me 
so I could unbutton her top. I had that play suit off in about two seconds. 
She wasn't wearing pants ... just a bra. I had that off in a hurry, too. I 
started sucking her nipples and she loved it. She led the way to her divan 
and lay down. I never took my lips from her breast even as she slowly walked 
us to the scene of battle. After a bit, she took my dong out and played with 
it. Then, she told me to strip so we could enjoy it all the way. I got out 
of my work jeans in two seconds fast. Naked, I locked her in my arms and she 
really felt good. She was soft, but not sloppy soft. I ran my hands all over 
her ass and she liked that better than when I chewed on her boobs. She ran 
her hands around my dong and balls and kept murmuring all the time. 

"I finally got set to stick it in, but she held back. I couldn't figure it 
out. She seemed so damn ready till then. 'Where's the fire, honey?' She 
kidded me a little. 'Let's not rush it!' Turned out she wanted a little 
sixty-nine first. Me, I'm not too much for hair pie, but anything for a 
lady; so I got in the right position with her and we began eating each 
other. She was a real goer. She moaned and groaned all the time I was 
muffing her. Every so often, she'd take my dong out of her mouth and sort of 
blow her breath on the head of it. I never did figure out that move. Maybe 
she wanted to cool it when she thought I was getting too horny. 

" 'Okay, now stick it up my twat," she finally got around to it. I was 
ready, believe you me and I hopped on in the regular way. I started humping 
and pumping like there was no tomorrow and she kept doing her best to slow 
me down. But I was hotter'n a stove pipe and I hammered away. All of a 
sudden, I shot my load. Man, I went off like a guided missile! I felt pretty 
good, but then I saw she was sore as hell. I couldn't figure it. 'Damn you!' 
She really yelled. 'What's with you, anyway? Couldn't you wait a couple 
seconds? I wanted you to shove it up my ass, too!' 

"Well, I didn't see no cause to get all riled up and I started telling her 
so. But she was really burned and cut me off cold. 'Look, I gotta have more 
and I gotta have it fast!' My dong was limp as a wet johnnycake and I wasn't 
sure whether I ought to go down on her with my tongue to keep things homey 
or what. She solved the whole damn problem fast. She went to the bedroom 
door and opened it and out comes a mean-looking Doberman dog. Luna will take 
care of what I want!' She dropped to her hands and knees and the dog headed 
right up like he'd been around the old block before. He sniffed her pussy a 
little and then got up on his hind legs as he moved his stinger up to where 
it could do the most good. I figured it was going into her snatch, but this 
doll put her hand back and steered it into her ass instead! That dog knew 
what to do. He humped away and then I could see by the twitch in his butt 
that he was shooting off good. He was done, but the doll held him inside of 
her. If he moved to back off, she'd yell a sharp order and he held tight. He 
was trained good. I couldn't figure none of it out. I asked why she was 
still down when it was all over. 'I can see you never had a dog's dick up 
your ass,' she said. 'They can push it in real easy, but when he really gets 
it up good, a big swelling comes up in the middle and he can't pull it out 
without practically busting a mainspring. After it all goes down, then it 
eases out nice and smooth.' She stayed down for another few minutes and when 
finally it was okay, she began easing the dog's dong out. I had to admit to 
her this was a new one on me. She said if I stuck around with her for any 
length of time I'd learn lots of new tricks. 

"I never thought I'd play second fiddle to a damn dog, but that's the way it 
went with us. She'd get me really steamed up and no matter how hard I'd try 
not to come, it would blow sooner or later. Then, she'd look at me in kind 
of a disgusted way and old Luna would be called in to take over. She always 
had it in the bung-hold for the big finale, but she did go through different 
buildups. And she would do it with him on the divan, on the floor and the 
bed. 

"Her system on the bed was to lay on her back with her thighs spread out 
like a picnic lunch. Luna, he'd hop up and then ease his long, mean-looking 
snout down and start licking her pussy. After it was all oiled up for the 
run, she would draw him up to her tits and she let him nibble there a bit 
before she eased his gong into her snatch. She'd wrap her legs around his 
butt and pull him in and out good. His snout was up to her face and she'd 
kiss him while they were screwing. But before he could shoot his load, she 
would slowly and carefully work his dong out. As loose as her hole was, she 
had to do it with a lot of caution on account of the big ball he had in the 
middle of the dong. Then, she would work it into her rear. And that took 
even more doing. But she'd get it all the way in and then she'd start 
gasping and groaning while Luna hammered away. 

"Once I sneaked up on old Luna when he was humping away and I started 
putting the head of my dong into his hole; but he got sore and started 
growling and I think the bastard would have bitten my head off if I didn't 
stop. I used to hate myself standing around watching this doll get it from 
her dog. But I put two and two together and I figured she was a mixed-up 
nut. She liked it in the bunghole best. So, why not let her have it that 
way? I started screwing her exclusively in the butt and she was a whole lot 
happier. Me, I sort of liked to experiment and do it all kinds of ways; but 
she was always impatient and only after I was headed down the old dirt road 
did she really get her full kicks. 

"But she still had to drag the damn mutt into the act. And that's how all 
the trouble began. The day we got raided and the cops made all that fuss for 
me was all her fault. I was humping her in the butt on the floor. All of a 
sudden, she got this great idea. 'Look, you keep giving it to me and I'll 
have Luna give it to you!' I didn't cotton too much to this. I had no use 
for that dog nohow. And he had no use for me. But she was stubborn. And I 
was horny. So I let her set it up. She had Luna in and he was sniffing me 
right away. He was the horniest dog I ever saw! Pretty soon, I felt his big 
dong working up into my can. Now, I've been cornholed before, but never by a 
dog! 

"Like I said, this middle of the dog's dong gets awful big. And I had no 
real idea just how big till it started swelling even bigger inside my butt. 
All of a sudden, it started hurting like crazy. I was scared the damn dog 
was gonna rupture my insides. I made my mistake then. I tried to get him out 
of me. I backed off from the doll and then the dog panicked. He started 
growlin' and biting! He ripped a hole in my shoulder that took six stitches 
to close. All hell broke loose! Howling! Biting! Growling! Screaming! 
Yelling! By the time the cops busted in, the place was a wreck and so was I. 
I was bleeding from about a dozen slashes from that damn dog's fangs. Lucky, 
the rabies tests proved he was okay. But the wounds took seven weeks to heal 
up. And I figure I'm gonna have me about three-four scars on my back to 
carry the rest of my life. 

"So, if anybody ever decided he's gonna get tangled up romantic-wise with a 
dog, I got one word of solid advice to give him: Don't!" 

 Chapter V "The Canine & Oral Sex" 

A collie stands staunch and stiff between her legs, its head down, nudging 
eagerly with its long pointed nose, licking out hard and noisily at the 
meeting of her thighs as she writhes naked on the bed. Its tail wags 
friskily, happily, as it laps at its mistress. Her legs, knees bending then 
straightening, unintelligible sounds erupting from her throat, her head 
turning from side to side as if the feeling is too much for her to bear, 
marks her state in the final throes of orgasmic ecstasy. 

The dog licking away concentrated on her inner lips which kept her at a 
fever pitch of pure ecstasy. Finally the dog seemed to understand licking 
slit dry. He sniffed her box as she played with him. Soon the collie's red 
head with its funny point came out and then it looked as he had a good seven 
inches out. The girl got into position for a good screwing. The dog, at 
first, seemed mystified. She helped him put his front paws around her. The 
dog started licking her breasts very passionately. She guided his penis in. 
She thought it would be great but something was wrong. She pushed toward him 
and they broke contact. This time she let the dog use his own method. She 
had to have his organ. She was hotter than a charcoal fire with weenies. 
This time the dog scrambled right up on her back and lunged at her with his 
organ. She guided it into her vagina from the rear. The collie plowed in 
deep and she was in glory as the dog's member swelled up bigger and bigger 
until she thought it would burst her vaginal canal. Faster and faster and 
then quickly the strokes eased up and she could feel the oozing of the 
animal's discharge. 

Beyond the dark of the open doorway, hidden in the darkness, a man fully 
clothed fondles an erect penis extending from his open fly, enrapt with the 
scene. There have been other times when the man has watched the same scene, 
himself naked, sitting on the bed beside his wife, he sucking her breast, or 
she manipulating and sucking his penis as the dog's eager mouth brings her 
to orgasm. This time he has arrived unexpectedly, early from a short 
business trip. The sight of his wife indulging herself captivates him, the 
fact that she is unaware of his presence adds even greater spice in his 
voyeurism. As he watches the girl's body tensing to its peak he feels his 
own climax approaching. As the girl's tensions erupt into ecstasy he grabs 
his handkerchief from his pocket, now masturbating himself furiously and his 
own passions spurt freely out with his semen onto the readied wad of cloth. 

The girl on the bed lies still and limp for a long moment, her arm across 
her face, the collie still busily lapping and rooting at her vulva. Then the 
girl stirs and opens her eyes. She smiles happily, looking down at the dog. 
She makes approving happy sounds in her throat and sitting up, pulls the dog 
into embrace, squeezing his hairy body tight between her breasts. She rocks 
back and forth, humming to herself. Then laughing out loud she feels for the 
dog's penis and begins slowly to manipulate the foreskin. The dog's tail 
stills and its body tenses. She laughs again and says aloud, "Oh you really 
dig it, don't you boy?" and then she laughs again, masturbating the dog more 
furiously now. Then suddenly the dog whimpers and cringes just slightly. The 
girl says, "Ohh, did I hurt you, boy?" and then she bends impulsively and 
takes the dog's penis in her mouth, rolling her tongue moistly around it, 
sucking on it, still manipulating the foreskin, but slower now, feeling her 
tongue ride around the pointed crown as the skin exposes it, then allowing 
the hairy skin to brush up over it as her lips reach further around the 
base. She takes her mouth away, laughing, looking at the dog. The penis 
glistens in the light from the fresh moisture of the girl's mouth. Furiously 
now she manipulates it. 

She giggles a moment, then joyous laughter peals out of her throat, then 
again she bends her mouth to it and the dog's legs, stretch out, begin to 
jerk convulsively. Tiny squeaks come out of the dog as it begins to thrash 
and the girl marvels at the head of the penis beginning to grow large inside 
her mouth, puffing up until it feels twice its size and then a spurt of 
semen goes all the way down her throat and she gags and then begins to laugh 
again, uncontrollably, her mouth still sucking hard" on the penis, her 
shoulders heaving from happy laughter as she drains every drop of juice from 
the dog and feels the shaft of the penis fall slowly limp, even though the 
head is now large and hard as a rock. 

She takes her mouth off the penis, still laughing. And then the first fist 
catches her on the cheekbone. Savage blinding pain bursts inside her head. 
The second fist hits her breast and she gasps for air unable to breathe, the 
pain already sending her brain whirling toward a fiery red void. The next 
blow catches her nose and upper lip. A ghastly smell hits her senses, 
seemingly a part of that new pain and more than the feel she remembers the 
sound of the blood gushing out of her nose; she remembers an insane 
thought-that the dentist bills would be hell to pay to replace her knocked 
out teeth. And she remembers thinking, just before she blacked out, that she 
should stop laughing now. 

* * * 

The events above were related by Marcia, twenty-four years old, recently 
divorced. She holds a master's degree in philosophy and is currently working 
as a fellow for her doctorate at a major university. The interview was 
arranged by the assistant district attorney in a large metropolitan county. 
"It could have been a messy case," he said. "When they brought her into the 
hospital she had been beaten severely over most of her body and around the 
head and face. She did not recover consciousness for four days; she was on 
the critical list for five. It could have been worse. 

"City police had picked up a routine drunk-or at least it started out as a 
routine drunk until the fellow babbled that he had killed his wife. He was 
spattered with blood. The fellow resided in the country so they turned it 
over to the sheriff's office to check out. Officers found the door of the 
house unlocked, entered and found the woman nude lying on the floor of the 
bedroom, wheezing in a puddle of blood through a broken nose and cuts on the 
mouth and gums. Severe lacerations and bruises all over her. Her legs were 
twisted in an odd position. At first the officers thought that the victim's 
back or both legs were broken but it turned out they were not. Officers also 
found a collie dog matted with its own blood, its jaw-bone broken, the lower 
jaw dangling as if the assailant had grabbed the upper and lower jaws in 
separate hands and ripped them apart. The dog's genitals had been cut out 
with a kitchen knife and were lying on the floor beside the victim. Also 
found was a handkerchief saturated with what the lab identified as dried 
human semen. Under routine examination it was recorded that the woman had 
apparently not been raped. The husband was booked for felonious assault, 
attempted murder. After the victim came off the critical list, bail was 
accepted, posted and the defendant was released. 

"In the ensuing investigation the woman talked quite freely about the 
incident. She described her acts of sodomy with the dog, she admitted taking 
the dog's penis in her mouth. Her husband had not mentioned this. There was 
no question that if she admitted bestial contacts of that nature the 
sympathies of the court would be with the husband. He would walk out of 
court scot-free and we would be left with an indictment of sodomy against 
the woman, her own testimony convicting her and the resulting publicity 
demanding judgment against her. 

It has been the policy of this office not to seek prosecution in casual 
fornication, adultery and sodomy if the acts were in private between 
consenting adults and in this case it was in the solitude of a private home. 
We did not relish the idea of taking either party in this case to court. We 
had to change the charge to simple assault to do it, but then with the 
woman's official permission we dropped the case against her husband-and of 
course, we never sought indictment of the woman; all the while hoping the 
newspapers would never get wind of the case." 

Marcia had not let it be known to investigators that her husband was not 
only aware of the bestial acts but had participated in them, that she and 
her husband had sexually swapped mates with two other couples previous to 
Marcia's first bestial act with the dog, or that her first bestial 
experience had been at the voyeuristic insistence of her husband. The 
portion of the interview dealing with those questions and her attitudes 
concerning that final incident followed a statement that her motive in 
relating the act of sodomy to investigators had been deliberately designed 
to free her husband of criminal charges. 

* * * 

"Do you mean your statement to the investigating officers and the results 
were planned?" the interviewer asked. 

"Yes, they were, intentional. I had no desire to see my husband go to 
jail.-Not that I intend ever to live with him again, "but I felt no malice 
toward him. You see my husband was a very weak man, fearful of impotence, 
fearful of his latent homosexuality. We were both very indulgent sexually. 
He wanted me to have sex with the dog, but he was so down on his own latency 
he couldn't face my sucking the dog off. I had several affairs and he used 
to pump me about men I'd known. He wasn't vindictive about it, on the 
contrary, he lolled in the idea of it. I think subconsciously he was living 
those affairs of mine with other men, relating to them, as if he lived them 
in reality. But he was horrified at the idea of taking a penis in the mouth. 
Knowing him, I never admitted to him that I ever did." 

"Did he provoke affairs between you and other men?" the psychologist 
inquired. 

"On one occasion. Close friends of ours, a dentist and his wife-we went out 
together the four of us, quite often. We got together a couple of nights a 
week for bridge, quite often we saw each other. Louis, the dentist, was 
beautifully witty, extremely charming in a raucous sort of way and 
continuously joking about something or another. For example, I remember him 
demonstrating the difference between a ten-dollar and a fifteen dollar 
pelvic examination. The ten-dollar version is like this (she extended her 
index and middle fingers, folding her thumb and other fingers into her palm) 
and the fifteen-dollar one is like this (same middle and index fingers 
extended, but now the thumb is upright and moving vigorously back and forth 
as if to massage the clitoris). Anyway Bob (Marcia's husband) was apparently 
attracted subconsciously to Louis himself because he was constantly grilling 
me with, did I think Louis was sexy, or, wouldn't I like to make it with 
Louis. Too, he kept telling me how attracted he was to Rita and saying 
things like, how did mate-swappers get started?" 

"Was the "grilling" strictly private between you, or were the other couple 
brought into it?" he questioned. 

"Oh Bob was flagrant enough about it. We couldn't sit down to a hand of 
bridge without him suggesting that the loser of a rubber should have to 
strip as a penalty. But it was inevitably countered by Rita joking that the 
winners should strip and then everybody swapping lines until the laughs 
drowned the subject. We did play strip games with another couple, but let me 
get this out of the way while I'm thinking about it. -Or maybe I'm just 
savoring the memory of it because I eventually did have sex with Louis and 
it was glorious. Bob told me that he had an affair with Rita but I found out 
later he had lied about it. He had made a rather messy play for Rita, 
telling her that Louis and I had something going, but she threw him out on 
his ear. I still laugh about that occasionally," said Marcia. 

"But you did have an affair with Louis?" 

"-Not an affair, we just enjoyed sex together. Bob kept talking about it and 
the more he talked the more I thought about it. Finally I called Louis at 
the hospital-I was scared to death, but I couldn't see myself in the sly 
seductive roll and I don't think Louis would have gone for it anyway. I told 
him quick, without taking a breath really, that I knew I was talking like a 
damned fool but I was extremely attracted to him sexually-no romance, no 
love promises or any of that jazz-that I didn't want to break up anything 
between he and Rita, that I was happily married and intended to remain so, 
that the whole point was that I wanted him very much and that if he wanted 
me I was available to him, no strings attached. Then I held my breath. My 
damned heart was pumping adrenalin instead of blood. Then he said those were 
the most beautiful words anybody had ever said to him-preparing me, it 
sounded like, for a fast but gentle let-down-but then he said he would love 
to have sex with me. The next afternoon we were in bed together. Louis was 
the one who really taught me about sex, about really participating and 
enjoying. See, the most I could do with Bob was hold onto his penis, he 
didn't even want me to move my hand. And once I wanted to suck it-he went 
into hysterics, absolute hysterics, so I never brought it up again. Louis 
loved everything about sex, especially fellatio-I guess most men do, like 
most women enjoy cunnilingus which was something else I couldn't get Bob to 
do. 

"Anyway, Louis taught me to be a pretty damned good fellatrice. And I had 
never known another man as good as he was at cunnilingus. The first time he 
went down on me, so slow, but so unbelievably hot, his mouth hot, hot and 
juicy, gliding over my skin. He took off from my breasts and worked his way 
down-. It was great, he knew every little pressure, every subtle nuance to 
give me great pleasure. I didn't climax that first time, but it was 
unbelievable. My first climax that day came-believe it or not-when I went 
down on him. The voluptuousness. The idea, the taste of him, the feel of him 
in my mouth-. My thighs just clamped together and I just came." 

"Have you had many recurrences of orgasm during fellatio? That is, without 
clitoral or vaginal stimulation?" he asked. 

"It happens. It all depends on the man, the mood, the surroundings, my own 
frame of mind-lots of things. But it does happen," she said. 

"When did your husband discover that you and Louis had been sexually 
intimate?" 

"Oh, he never did! You asked me did he provoke things and I was telling you 
a specific instance where he kept throwing me at the man, but he never did 
find out that I had actually been seeing Louis. Rita knew, but Bob never did 
know about it." 

"How did Rita know about it?" asked the interviewer. 

"I didn't know it until after I had been with Louis, but Rita is mildly 
bi-sexual. They're quite honest with each other, as it turned out. Rita told 
me a couple of weeks later that she and Louis discussed such things and that 
she didn't mind at all, that she was happy for me because Louis was a real 
experience, she knew and that he had certainly enjoyed himself. Then she 
told me that it was all right really because she had designs on me herself, 
she couldn't blame him a bit for being attracted to me. I don't know why, 
but that shocked me, really shocked me." 

"Have you had any homosexual experiences?" he asked. 

"Yes. With Rita. Later. Only with Rita, except, as a child. I think we're 
getting off the tangent." 

"I think it might help to understand if we establish the full range of your 
sexual interests, but if you'd rather not talk about-." 

"No, I don't mind at all." 

"Was that what you meant earlier when you said Louis was better than any man 
you'd had?" 

"I spent an entire day with Rita shortly after that and it was great, really 
great and since then the three of us, she, Louis and I have gotten together, 
the three of us seem to go well together. She taught Louis.-You see, that 
was one of Bob's problems, he just couldn't relate in a group. 

"After we started swapping with these other friends of ours-well Bob had a 
limited repertoire, no oral sex. He loved to suck tits, pardon my French, 
but that was the extent of his oralism, really and people in the first place 
who are interested in swapping are interested in experiences, in the full 
range of sexual emotion. 

"People who don't like to go down, to them, are queer and I understand this. 
But Bob's biggest problem was that he wanted to watch me with another man 
more than he wanted to do anything himself. He wanted total orgy scenes, yet 
he just didn't fit in, he couldn't fit in and my actions were inhibited by 
him and so the other couples-we spent some sex time with two couples, not 
counting Rita and Louis-finally got disgusted with the whole scene. They 
were anxious enough to have me join them, but they had no desire whatever to 
include Bob. Bob's balking at oral sex was just too much for them to take 
and of course Bob was blind to this. All he could think of was-as he used to 
say-he wasn't "getting any." He thought that the swinging friends had cooled 
to swinging, not cooled to him. That was when he came home with the dog." 

"You believe he bought the dog with deliberate sexual intentions?" he 
inquired. 

"I know he did. He'd say things like, "Here's something to take care of that 
box-." And at first, of course, I just couldn't make the scene. I had no 
desire whatever to have a damned dog licking around on me-not that I have 
anything against dogs. I just don't think they're the greatest sex partners 
in the world for human beings." 

"When was the first time relations with the dog entered the picture?" 

"It wasn't long after he brought the thing in. A week at most. Then one 
night Bob was particularly attentive, particularly good to me and I knew how 
badly he wanted me to mess around with the dog so I did. It was as simple as 
that. Every time we were together sexually he would mention it. This time 
when he did, half-way in the spirit of giving him what he wanted because I 
loved him and the other half with an oh-what-the-hell, 
bring-the-damned-thing-on sort of an attitude, I told him to bring the 
damned thing on." 

"There was no desire on your part for relations with the dog? Not even 
curiosity? I think in the most remote circumstances curiosity about it would 
probably arise in a woman's mind?" 

"Oh the question arose, of course, very quickly when somebody's practically 
shouting it in your ear, but in my case it was just as quickly answered. A 
cold unimpassioned lapping at my genitalia does not particularly turn me on. 
There's a hell of a lot more to sex, where I'm concerned, than that. I want 
it to be me that's loved, not just something to be licked at. The first 
couple of times with the dog I was absolutely disgusted. I got no 
stimulation at all from the dog, no stimulation period. It was such a cold 
feeling. Then after the initial disgust I became aware of Bob. Bob was 
stimulated. Watching me with the dog. Even just watching me lie there taking 
it. The first time I noticed it I marveled. I just glanced over at him, with 
an attitude like haven't-you-had-enough-of-this-silly-jazz sort of thing and 
I marveled. He was sitting there, his eyes popping out, those orbs of his 
roving over my breasts, down to the long rough tongue that seemed like it 
wanted to lick my very flesh away, down my thighs. He was sitting 
cross-legged on the bed beside me, fingering himself as he often did when he 
looked at just me like that, only more so than I'd ever seen him. His whole 
body was like a coil spring, ready to pounce and his tongue kept darting 
across wetting his lips. The sight of him, the state of arousal of the man-! 
And just as the fully aroused state of him hit me that stupid 
dog-accidentally of course, usually the dog's tongue stayed low in the 
crack-licked up across my clitoris. I moaned and my legs automatically 
contracted. And when that happened Bob groaned out, 'Oh, God!' or something 
like that and started jacking himself like mad. And the sight of that really 
turned me on. For the first time I grabbed the dog's head, trying to guide 
it where I wanted it to go. And then the really funny thing, it was almost 
as if the dog suddenly took interest-before he had been sort of half out of 
it. Or maybe it was just me. Anyway, I really started enjoying the whole 
stupid scene. Or maybe it was just me. It took several other times like that 
one before I got my first good orgasm from the dog, but you see, by then I'd 
started growing attached to the thing and it had become attached to me. It 
was almost as if we had a little love affair going, sort of secret-sharing, 
the two of us. After that the fact that Bob got pleasure from watching us 
was almost incidental. I got to where I didn't need his arousal to become 
aroused myself. The feel of the dog and later just the thought of sex with 
the dog, could arouse me. And then the dog and I had our own little thing 
going even when Bob wasn't around. And don't get me wrong, a man was still 
much better. The dog was convenient. And it was good-." 

"Did you ever engage in actual coitus with the dog?" asked the psychologist. 

"I tried. Not too anxiously. As it happened I just couldn't get the dog to 
have an erection. Not that I worked at it. I liked to fondle his balls and 
his little stud of a penis, but it was too little. A few times I'd rub the 
thing across the crack and maybe try to stuff it inside me but I just never 
could make it and I passed it out of my mind." 

"When was the first time you fellated the dog?" 

"The picture of that doesn't horrify you?" she asked. 

"No, it does not. I'd like you to tell me about it." 

"Well. First let me tell you my frame of mind. As I mentioned the dog and I 
had become attached, yet the night I-the night Bob came in-. You see I had 
never done anything for the dog, not in all that time. And then Bob was gone 
for a few days. After my classes in the mornings the dog and I spent most of 
the time together. I'd come home and undress. The dog would be sitting 
watching me, thumping his tail on the floor happy to see me, his jaw open, 
panting the way some dogs do, his tongue hanging out. And really without 
thinking about it I'd be squatting down motioning him to me and his tongue 
would first lick me around the face. Then his head would go down between my 
knees and he'd start licking me there-. Before I knew it I'd be lying flat 
on my back on the bed, the dog going like crazy on me and my loving every 
second of it. Usually in the afternoons I had maybe a couple of hours at 
best before Bob came in from his office, but even then he might always 
arrive unexpectedly-." 

"You didn't want him to see you with the dog-." 

"No! I did not. Not that way. That is, not for myself. I told him that I did 
it on many afternoons, because he liked to hear it, but I did not 
particularly care for him to catch me in the act. I know that sounds 
ridiculous; Bob has sometimes hidden in the closet, with me knowing it, with 
him knowing I know it, just because that way he can pretend that he's really 
sneaked onto something. And I didn't give a damn. -No, that's not true, I 
did give a damn. To me Bob is a sick man. He was a sick man to me long 
before that and that was why I stopped loving him. But telling him about 
such things was different from being caught red-handed or something. -I 
don't know. Anyway, I didn't want him to catch me at it, okay? Anyway, while 
Bob was out of town it was a much freer atmosphere and the dog and I took 
advantage of it. After a couple of days it was great, really great. The dog 
seemed to sense every nuance of emotion in me and direct himself 
accordingly. It was almost like he was trying consciously to improve his 
technique or something. Really trying. And that third day I was so overjoyed 
with the damned dog, really a love feeling I felt for the dog, so much so 
that I just wanted to do something for him. And then I had this fantastic 
orgasm, the greatest I'd ever had with him and it just struck me that that 
poor dog was giving all that pleasure and receiving so little. So I made up 
my mind I was going to give him pleasure. I started playing with his little 
penis. Seriously for the first time. I sensed that the dog knew exactly what 
was happening and was ready for it. And the thing started getting harder, 
getting bigger. And I was just so happy about the thing, the fact that I 
could give it pleasure. Maybe even as much as it gave me. At least I was 
determined to try." 

"You had no idea that your husband had already entered the house?" he asked. 

"None. And he had to have been there before I started with the dog, I mean 
before I'd reached that last climax. There wasn't time afterward for-. The 
investigators found-evidence-." 

"The handkerchief-I'm familiar with the report." 

"Yes, the handkerchief. I don't believe he would have stopped to-do 
that-after he had-. No, it wasn't like him. Afterward, after that whole 
violent scene he would have gone into a panic, he would absolutely have 
panicked. It had to have been before. Anyway, the dog. He responded. 
Everything I did must have been right because he grew so big and hard I 
couldn't believe it and then I just got so happy about him, happy that I 
could be good for him too and then he let out a little hurt noise and I 
thought it must be because he was so dry and so I just bent down and stuck 
the thing in my mouth, to set it, just as I would have done with any man 
except Bob. It was not such a bad thing. What was the harm in my giving that 
poor dog as much pleasure as it had given me? Or at least try to. The whole 
thing was just so happy for me, so beautifully happy. I sucked and played 
and sucked and played with the thing and finally I sucked him completely 
off, gagging out of my mind at first but swallowing every spurting ounce of 
him. And he loved it. I could tell. That poor damned dog. Every time I think 
of it I just get ill. Bob'll probably turn queer now and blame me for it, 
but I can't, I just can't have any compassion for Bob any more, hard as I 
try. That whole thing is just over now. I'm just going to try to forget the 
whole thing." 

"You have no desire for any further bestial experiences?" 

"You mean am I going to get another dog?" 

"Yes, I suppose so." 

"To tell you the truth, yes I am. And I hope he's just half as good as the 
last one. Does that shock you?" 

"No." 

"I'm looking for another collie, I had one in the house for a few days but I 
didn't like him and I got rid of him. I'll find one. I don't mean that I've 
suddenly switched from men to dogs, not by any stretch of the imagination, 
but dogs are handy around the house. When a man is not available at the 
moment-. I learned something from all this: that sex is how you make it and 
a damned dog feels it too. I know that must sound shocking, but I see 
nothing whatsoever wrong with my enjoying a dog, or with a dog enjoying me. 
And I've learned I can. And I'm going to get me another damned dog." 

With Marcia's aid, an interview was arranged with "Rita" and relevant 
portions of that interview are provided as a case note to this chapter. 
Marcia's account of her initiation in bestiality, her testimony that she was 
cold and antagonistic to the prospect but finally succumbed to the desires 
of her voyeur husband is probably accurate. (There will be noted 
contradictory statements brought out in the interview with Rita, but the 
primary source of those contradiction was Marcia's husband, who was busily 
engaged at the time in a seduction attempt.) Obviously however, Marcia 
possessed an oral fixation and as true in such circumstances she has a 
greater susceptibility to deviate impulses. The same is true in cases of 
homosexuality, verbal licentiousness (salirolagnia), general promiscuity, 
mate-swapping and other deviate patterns, including voyeurism. Bob's oral 
fixation is quite pronounced, though exhibited in a conscious suppression of 
the idea of oral sex practices, which is almost as common as exclusive oral 
indulgence. 

Every major study conducted in the past half-century concludes that 
mouth-to-genital contacts, as foreplay or as occasional indulgences, are 
common for the great majority of human males and females in their sexual 
outlets. There seems to be at present a mass obsession with oral love in the 
Western world, but this is probably due to the backlash against the 
suppression of mouth/genital contacts by religion and law over the past 
centuries and to the current resolve-the Sexual Revolution-to get a clear 
picture of so-called "normal" sex practice. Mouth-genital contacts are 
illegal in forty-nine of the fifty U.S. States (Illinois repealed her sodomy 
laws). To kiss the genitals of a human or any animal is a violation of 
sodomy laws; penetration is not required for conviction, the same applies 
for homosexual and heterosexual contacts and in forty-five states it makes 
no difference whether the people are or are not married to each other. 
Penalties range, depending on the state, from five to twenty years 
imprisonment. The disparity between law and common desires and practices 
contributes to conscious orality. More than ninety percent of the married 
couples in the Kinsey sample employed oral stimulation of the genitals as 
part of their sex practices-ninety-one percent of the couples practiced 
cunnilingus; ninety-two percent practiced fellatio. Yet in forty-five states 
of the U.S. such practices even between married couples are against the law. 
(As Kinsey himself pointed out, the accuracy of his figures can be slightly 
corroded by the fact that his sample was taken from the generally 
better-educated, higher-income groups, which have established 
characteristics of freer sexual attitudes than lower-income, less 
well-educated groups.) 

Contrary to popular opinion, sodomy does not include only homosexuality. 
Genital/anal contact (buggery) also comes under the sodomy laws, 
heterosexual or homosexual; but, as in mouth/genital contacts, penetration 
of the anus is not required to constitute a violation of the law. In other 
words, a man who accidentally brushes his wife's anal opening with his penis 
has committed a crime, a felony (except in New Hampshire, a misdemeanor), 
that if he were discovered and prosecuted he could receive as much as twenty 
years in prison! A wife's loving kiss of a husband's penis constitutes the 
same offense. The sexual ignorance of the past has left us with hosts of 
ludicrous laws concerning sex; hypocrisy has perpetuated them. The sex 
practices of husband and wife in the privacy of their bedroom goes 
undetected, unless "deviate" practices are bared in a divorce court or under 
similar circumstances. But the laws are on the books, waiting for a zealous 
comstockian prosecutor who can find some means of enforcing them. 

Among the "liberal sex" groups, mate-swappers, bi-sexual "swinging" orders, 
hyper-sexed singles and busy spouses who hungrily pursue extramarital 
relations (and not to mention homosexuality), oral stimulation up to and 
often including orgasm plays a strong role. The venus observa exclusivity 
tradition is sloughed off along with monogamous sexual convention and the 
desire to adhere to it. All bestial urges are based either in oral 
inclinations or sadomasochistic compulsions. Marcia is an example of the 
former. Actual animal contacts are often accidental in origin; often desire 
may be present but opportunity lacking to pursue bestial relations (and this 
is usually true for the sado-masochistically oriented with their fixations 
for larger, more savage or brutal animals). The large majority of animal 
contacts-the lonely women with an affectionate dog-are mere 
spur-of-the-moment peccadilloes. Sexual gratification is desired; and the 
animal is a convenient instrument to assist in it. The majority of interest 
in bestiality, however, is non-participatory: erotic, zooscopic, 
voyeuristic. This majority interest has fed "sex circuses" in every major 
culture throughout man's recorded history. 

 CASE NOTES NOTE 1-Rita. 

The interview was arranged with the subject's stipulation that her personal 
sex life, except as it related to Marcia and Bob, was "taboo." Before her 
identity was revealed and contact established, Rita was briefed that the 
interviewer had full knowledge of the sex liaisons between the two women and 
between Marcia and Rita's husband. It should also be noted here that Rita's 
testimony concerning much of the relationship between Marcia and Bob was 
garnered from Bob and is not necessarily factual. 

One of the discrepancies between Rita's understanding and Marcia's testimony 
concerns the original purchase of the dog: "Bob told me weeks before he 
bought the dog," Rita stated, "that Marcia kept insisting that he buy one, a 
large one, because she'd never had sex with a dog but she was hung up on the 
idea of that long tongue and she wanted to try it. But Bob was probably just 
telling me that. Marcia told me that the first mention of a dog, from either 
one of them, came when Bob brought the dog home with him. I intend to be 
candid with you about this whole thing. Both Bob and Marcia are magnificent 
liars. This question, who really wanted the dog, is something that I can't 
see either one of them fibbing about. I knew that Bob was a 'sneaky peek' 
character and he knew I knew it. Every once in a while he'd show up here 
unexpectedly, when he knew Marcia would be out. He loved to talk four-letter 
scenes at me and I'd just laugh him off. But he did talk them, sometimes 
more than talk them. Sometimes he caught me off guard. Once he told me he 
had a fantastic organ and asked me if I'd like to see it. I told him if he'd 
run his damned dick up a flagpole I'd even salute it. He unzipped his pants 
and pulled it out and it just seemed a hilarious idea to reach into my bra 
and flop out a mammary, so I did. It shocked the hell out of him. I thought 
his eyes were going to fall out of his head and go rolling across the floor 
like marbles. But then he got up from the couch holding his dick out in 
front of him, walking over to where I was sitting. When he got within range 
I kicked and if he hadn't had his hands there to begin with I'd have driven 
his balls clear up to his Adam's apple. As it was I think I broke his finger 
because at one of our regular foursome bridge get-togethers a couple of 
weeks later it was still swollen. I told him to put his toy in his pants 
like a good little boy and go on home. Bob never could understand it-or even 
believe it, for that matter-but he was about as sexy to me as a pile of 
dirty laundry. I liked him, he was funny, but I didn't want him sexually. It 
must have been a month before he came over alone again. I can't see Bob not 
telling me about the dog. He's certainly told me many times that he'd like 
to see Marcia with another man and did I mind if he borrowed Louis for 
awhile. Why would he balk at saying he'd like to see Marcia making it with a 
dog?" 

Rita was asked: "Do you think that his oral aversion might have something to 
do with it?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Do you think that his hatred of oral sex might influence his attitudes in 
his own mind since his own interest in the dog seemed to be oral, noncoital? 
You said he mentioned the dog's tongue-. Before that question, though, maybe 
I should ask, had he ever discussed any remote interest in oral sex?" 

"Oh, hell yes! It stunned me when Marcia told me he didn't dig it, every man 
in the world wants his dick licked. Frankly I didn't really believe her 
until after I'd talked with this other girl, the wife of one of the couples 
they'd made it with. Bob was always talking about, 'did I like to have my 
box eaten?' or 'why didn't I stop what I was doing and we'd have a little 
sixty-nine?' He liked to stick his tongue out. He could touch the end of his 
nose. He was proud of that and he did it many times. He seemed extremely 
oral-minded to me. That was the first time I ever thought about Bob as a sex 
partner. I felt like taking him on. Something like a challenge. But then I 
put that juvenile crap out of my mind. Maybe he thought it would be more 
arousing to me if he told me Marcia wanted the dog than it would be if he 
said he wanted it for her. That's the only reason I could think of why he 
might lie about it." 

Chapter VI "Animal Envy" 

In the beginning, the horse was man's greatest boon, furnishing a means of 
transportation and help in doing the wondrous things that man yearned to do 
in order to change the face of his world. The dog was utilized as a sheep 
herder, as a companion and an alert sentinel and in the far reaches of the 
earth, a means of transportation where there was none. 

All of this was in the past. Today's sophisticated citizens have discovered 
many other uses for animals and because it had become so prevalent in our 
culture, the word "bestality," which means using animals for sexual 
purposes, came into being. 

Tragedy often follows those who are bold enough to follow their passions and 
lapse into animalism. Darryl L., a twenty-one year old student at a German 
university was one of those unfortunates. Upon his entrance into the 
university, this shy and delicate boy was slowly sucked into a homosexual 
relationship. But let us try to construct the story exactly as it happened 
and not worry about offended sensibilities when all the facts are presented. 
This is a true case history now on file. 

By the end of his first week in the university, Darryl was sad and lonely. 
He was too shy to approach one of the young women so much in evidence on the 
campus and he had no male friends. Every evening he read in the library 
until it was time for him to return to the boarding house where he had a 
small room. 

One evening, as he was leaving the library, an older student approached him. 

"I have seen you here often," said the stranger, who introduced himself as 
Zena. 

"Yes," replied Darryl, "I come here every night." 

"Then you must be extremely learned by now," said Zena in a humorous vein. 

"No, I do not come here to learn, really. I come here because I am lonely 
and here I can see people, even though I do not talk to them." 

"Well," said Zena, "come with me and we shall have a glass of beer and talk 
away our troubles." 

They went to a small tavern that was a favorite drinking place for 
university students. After a number of hours there, drinking and talking 
about a variety of things, Zena invited Darryl to his apartment which was 
only a few minutes away from the tavern. 

At first Darryl refused but then he reconsidered, thinking that nothing 
could be worse than spending a whole evening in his small room, completely 
alone. 

There was another reason why he decided to go with Zena. As he was sitting 
in the tavern, he felt his penis begin to press against his leg. Darryl had 
a sudden desire to open his pants, remove the stiffened penis and plunge it 
into a glass of ice cold beer. Something was happening but he did not know 
what it was. Something in his stomach was beginning to churn. 

They walked slowly to Zena's apartment. Every now and then, Zena would let 
his hand brush against the younger man's thigh, and Darryl would shiver. 

The apartment was small but very tastefully furnished. Zena turned the 
lights off except for a small candle and put on the radio. Darryl sat down 
on the sofa. 

"A long time ago," said Zena, speaking quietly but with great feeling, "I 
discovered that the body of women leaves much to be desired. No matter how 
often I sunk my flesh into their sweet holes, no matter how many times I lay 
with them and thrust my tongue into their vaginas, savoring every part of 
their secret-still, there was something lacking. I was sad, so sad that I 
contemplated killing myself. Can you understand? Can you feel this? So I 
went to the world of Nature to look for satisfaction. I bent over and 
smeared my buttocks with the scent of beasts, so that the beasts themselves 
would mount me. I had temporary joy in that manner. No one can really 
understand the thrill of feeling the driving force of life, brought to a 
perfect fulfillment in the hairy penis of a beast, unless they have felt 
that instrument plunging into them, ripping them apart and turning your own 
body and mind into a mass of jelly. There is no passion to equal it. But, I 
grew weary for the company of men. So I came to the university." 

He stopped for a moment, to see what Darryl thought of his confession. 

But Darryl would say nothing. He lowered his eyes, a little ashamed of 
hearing such personal events recounted. 

"Do you want me to continue?" 

Darryl would not answer, so Zena decided to speak no more for the moment. 
There would be time, he thought, later. 

Darryl felt his head reeling. It was probably from the large amounts of beer 
and ale he had consumed in the tavern. He lay down on the couch, trying hard 
to keep his shoes off the material. 

He closed his eyes and the blackness soothed him. Then he heard Zena 
whispering: 

"You are beautifully formed, Darryl, your body is supple and restrained in 
its sensuousness, but you are ready for passion." 

He flared up at Zena's word. 

"What are you saying?" 

But before he could talk further, Zena's hands were expertly opening his 
pants. Darryl gasped as he felt Zena fondle his penis and run his fingers in 
small circles around the globes. 

He tried to fight the older student, but something prevented him. He could 
never recall such a feeling of both delight and shock. Zena's hands kneaded 
the fleshy member, until Darryl felt it stiffening. He closed his eyes and 
placed his hand on Zena's arm. Then, he realized that his organ was standing 
straight up like a spear. 

Zena, very slowly and very carefully, bent over and surrounded that hard 
flesh with his mouth. Darryl began to weep. He could not prevent himself 
from doing so. Zena's mouth felt like the most divine piece of silk ever 
spun. 

Darryl moved his virginal body up and down so that his penis could feel the 
beautiful lips. He hoped it would last forever, he hoped the mouth would be 
permanently attached to him. But this could not be, for the seed in him 
began to boil and rage and suddenly it burst out of his cylinder, filling 
the mouth of his new found friend. 

Zena reeled back under the pressure of that glorious liquid. Then, for a 
long while there was quiet. Darryl could only shake his head from side to 
side, amazed at the intensity of the feeling he had experienced. 

"I promise you, Darryl," said Zena, with great passion, "this is nothing. I 
will show you pleasures that you have never dreamed of." 

After speaking, he turned Darryl over and undressed him. He took Darryl by 
the hand and made him stand against a wall, running his fingers and mouth 
all over Darryl's body. 

Then he told Darryl to spread his buttocks and Zena thrust his hot flesh 
into them. Darryl screamed, but soon his screams turned to moaning sounds 
and when Zena flung his seed into the youth, the room was filled with the 
sounds of ecstasy. 

That night, after he had returned home, Darryl could not contain his joy at 
having found a new life, at having found passion and friendship and 
adventure. 

Darryl and Zena continued this relationship for many months. They both loved 
each other and their nights were filled with the most passionate of actions. 
Darryl grew to love the taste of Zena's organ and his whole day was spent in 
dreaming of the moment when he could hold it in his mouth and chew gently on 
it. 

But gradually, even though Darryl loved his friend, he began to grow morose. 
He did not want to have anything to do with women but he did want something 
soft and female in his life. 

Darryl began to think about Zena's speech to him where animalism was 
mentioned. Every time he tried to bring it up, Zena changed the subject. 

Darryl began to visit pet shops and one day, in a small pet shop near the 
university, he found a beautiful, honey colored spaniel. The dog licked his 
hand when he petted her. He found that he was almost compelled to buy her 
and the next day he did. Darryl resolved to keep his purchase from Zena. 

The first night that the female dog stayed in Darryl's apartment, she was 
frightened and whimpered. 

In the middle of the night, he got up to comfort her. Sitting beside her, he 
ran his fingers through her silky hair. She moved closer to him and her long 
red tongue darted out of her mouth to lick his member. A chill went up and 
down his spine. Was this what he was looking for, he asked himself? Was he 
doing the same as Zena and lapsing into animalism ? 

Her tongue began to lick his globes and Darryl held her skin tighter. 

"My lovely, little thing," he whispered to her, turning her around so that 
he could see her vagina. The dog whimpered at being forced to leave his 
organ. 

Yes, he thought to himself, this is what I want. He took off his pajamas and 
sitting on the floor, spread his legs wide. He pulled the dog to him and his 
penis almost sang with passion as it touched the entrance to the animal's 
vagina. 

"Ah, my pet, it must not hurt you. Let me lubricate it." 

He bent over and inserted his tongue into the opening. The animal squirmed 
and then raised its muzzle high and let loose with a long, soul searching 
howl. 

How he loved the sound of that howl! It seemed as if all the beasts of the 
wilderness were calling to him, asking him for their vaginas to be filled 
with his tongue. It seemed as if the great but horrid beasts were about to 
leave their native lands because they had heard the howl of a dog, a dog who 
loved him. He tried to think of Zena out of duty, but Zena's penis no longer 
held any attraction for him, not as long as that tender pink opening was 
before him. He shoved his tongue in as deep as it could go. 

The dog turned as best she could and he could see her eyes, brimful with 
passion and trust. 

"Yes, trust me," said Darryl, removing his tongue, "for I shall be very kind 
to you." His flesh ached to enter her. He pulled her closer, stroking her 
back and sides. The dog's back legs were beginning to quiver, anticipating 
the coming entry. 

The penis and the vagina came together, man and dog, a thousand differences 
being drowned in that sudden joining of hunter and hunted. 

He moved it deeper and the animal seemed to melt as its most sacred flesh 
was penetrated by an alien instrument. Darryl kept pulling the dog toward 
him, impaling her more and more on the pinnacle of his passion. 

Exploding into a fury of desire, he thrust with all his might and truly 
entered her hole. The two of them rolled about the floor and about the room. 

As he was joined with her, he thrust his hand into her mouth to feel those 
beautiful fangs. They closed on his hand but did not hurt it. 

Picking the dog off the ground, he turned her around as if there was a 
barbecue spit in her, his penis gave her more pleasure than anything she 
could have felt in the world of her own kind. 

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Darryl could not imagine who it 
could be so late at night. It must be a mistake, he thought, or perhaps 
there has been an accident, or a tragedy. He pushed the dog aside and 
answered the door, furious that he had been called away from the most 
important experience of his young life. 

"Who is it?" he called through the door. 

"I must speak to you, I must see you." 

It was Zena. Darryl did not know what to do. He did not want Zena to know 
what was going on between the beautiful, passionate animate and himself. 

"In a minute, Zena, I will be with you in a minute. It is very late." 

Darryl rushed to the closet and put on a bathrobe. He ran into the bathroom 
and placed his penis under cold water in order to reduce its size. Then he 
went to the door and opened it. 

Zena rushed in. Darryl noticed that Zena seemed very disturbed. 

"What is troubling you?" he asked him. 

Zena looked at the animal on the floor, which was rolling over, searching 
for the flesh that had made her vagina into a mass of passion. 

"What have you done?" he asked Darryl. 

"Nothing." 

"Do you think I'm a fool?" 

"I do not know what is going on?" 

Darryl did not answer him. His face became red and he hung his head. No 
matter how hard he tried to stand up to Zena, the force of the older man's 
personality always seemed to shatter his confidence. 

Zena walked over to the animal and nudged it with his foot. Then he brought 
his foot far back as if he was going to deliver a strong kick to the 
animal's side. 

"For God's sake, Zena, don't! I beg of you not to hurt the animal." 

With these words, Darryl rushed over to the animal and pulled it away from 
his friend, holding it in his arms with protective passion. Zena did not say 
anything for a long time. Then he walked over to a chair and sat down in it, 
burying his face in his hands. 

"You might as well know, Zena. You might as well be prepared for the truth. 
I have found what I have been looking for all my life I have found the 
female element, not the horrid female element of these horrid girl students, 
oh no, I am beyond that. But in this little animal, there is more passion 
and more love than all the brothels of Germany. Can you understand that?" 

Zena stood up, focusing his eyes on the animal and saying: "I was the one 
who introduced you to animalism. It was my words which gave you the clue to 
a whole new world of passion. So, please, don't lecture me on the beauty of 
animal passion. But I need you. I cannot live without you. You are 
everything that makes my life worthwhile. Give up this idea and return to 
me, full of love, I promise that I will give you more pleasure than you have 
ever known." 

Zena held out his hands in a pathetic gesture, as if he was begging Darryl 
for a few scraps of bread. He wiped his eyes because the tears were freely 
flowing. 

Darryl tried to remove from his mind all of the various elements in his 
life. He knew that he had to make a quick decision and that decision would 
play a large part in his future life. Then, he acted. 

Holding the dog in his arms, he rushed close to Zena. He spread wide the 
dog's back legs and thrust her vagina into Zena's face. The older man stood 
there quietly, saying nothing. 

Darryl then pulled the dog back just a bit and thrust his own tongue into 
the opening, looking at Zena with wild eyes as the dog's screams of pleasure 
assaulted both their ears. His tongue was like a stream of fire, melting all 
resistance, melting the walls of her hole. 

Zena could not contain himself. He raced about the room like a man insane, 
cursing Darryl and cursing all the beasts of the earth. He tried to pull 
Darryl's tongue out of the vagina, but Darryl's strength was a function of 
his passion and he was as powerful as five men. 

Zena thrust his hands under Darryl's robe. He felt the beautiful curve of 
his buttocks, he felt the form of the sexual organ as it lay between the 
thighs. Finally, he could contain himself no longer and as Darryl was 
keeping his tongue busy, he crawled under the younger man's bathrobe and 
took that glorious penis into his mouth. His mouth was like a gift of the 
gods, all of his strength and all of his disgust made his mouth into a 
divine thing. 

As he worked over the flesh with his lips and tongue and the points of his 
teeth, Darryl was forced to give more power to his own tongue as it explored 
the mysteries of that canine hole. 

Finally, Darryl could not take the agony of that passionate mouth and he 
threw the dog to one side, called out in his passion. 

"No more, Zena, I beg of you, no more! I surrender. I give up everything, 
but you. Take me back and I will be true." 

Triumphant, Zena released the younger man's organ. But he was not through 
with Darryl. He rushed over to the dog and opened his pants. Darryl could 
see that flesh rise straight up, as if it was trying to reach the heavens. 
The tip of Zena's penis seemed to embody all the vengeance that the older 
man was capable of. Before the sight of that male passion, that monumental 
spear of lust, Darryl was powerless. 

Zena threw the dog onto the sofa and leaped on it. He thrust his penis into 
the wet vagina, pulling hard on the dog's ears as he did so. 

The dog howled in pain. And tried to shake off the human thrust. 

But Zena was too powerful and he used his penis like a spear. 

The cries of the gentle animal were too horrible for Darryl to stand. He 
shut his ears by covering them with his hands. 

Then he saw Zena's mouth make motions like a scream. He rushed over and the 
dog fell to the floor, hot seed spurting out of her vagina. 

It was too late. The dog was dead. The most joyful thing in his life had 
been murdered by the horrible thrust of Zena's penis. He wept over the 
animal, cradling it in his arms and rocking back and forth. 

"You are mine," said Zena, "and you will always be mine. One day, if I am 
feeling kind, I will allow you to experiment with animal passion. But only 
if I desire and only at the time which I tell you. Now, come into the 
bathroom. I want to play with your mouth and perhaps even your buttocks." 

Darryl was defeated and he knew it. Resigned, he walked back to the 
bathroom, prepared to accept his fate. 

For the next two years, Darryl was Zena's slave. He obeyed every command and 
every sexual whim. But deep in his heart, he always kept alive the joy of 
the animal world. 

But one day, Zena relented and told Darryl that he had picked out a lovely 
animal in a kennel. Darryl was almost beside himself with joy. They drove 
out to the country to pick it up. It was a beautiful dog, much bigger than 
the ill fated one of two years ago. Its coat was shaggy and its eyes were 
extremely soulful. 

The first night it stayed in the apartment, Zena took Darryl by the hand and 
took him to the dog. 

"Watch me and I will show you how to do this." 

Darryl watched intently as Zena began to fondle the dog, placing a finger 
into the vagina, and putting his own tongue into the dog's mouth. 

As he watched, Darryl felt his whole body shake with jealousy. He wanted to 
taste her vagina, he wanted to have once again that glorious animal wetness 
close to him. His body tensed as Zena became more passionate. 

His hand, almost without intention, roamed to a nearby table and picked up a 
paperweight. With a great scream of defiance and hate, he brought the 
paperweight crashing down on Zena's head. There was a dull thud and the 
older man collapsed. 

Blood stained the floor. It flowed as if it would never stop. 

Darryl grinned and pulled off his pajamas. The dog was licking the blood 
with her beautiful tongue. Jerking off the dead man's robe, Darryl showed 
the animal Zena's penis. She nibbled on the globes and took the penis into 
her mouth. 

Darryl leaped on her, holding her flanks steady with his hands and entering 
her with all the force he could muster. He screamed almost insane words as 
he copulated with her. 

Neighbors heard the horrible shouts and called the police. When the police 
arrived, Darryl was rolling on the floor with the animal, still copulating 
with such force that great chunks of the dog's hair lay scattered on the 
floor. 

Seven months later, Darryl was sentenced to spend the rest of his life in a 
hospital for the criminally insane. He was beyond hope, a dreadful example 
of how tensions can pull apart a youth who is torn between the delights of 
animalism and the delights of a homosexual friendship. 

 Chapter VII Animal Friendship 

"Damn everybody," said Nick. He was speaking to his psychiatrist. "Why are 
people bugging me? I don't bother them. Half the guys I know did it to 
animals so what's all the fuss about? My family thinks I'm a degenerate ... 
that's what they called me. They're a bunch of hypocrites. Anyone growing up 
on the farm has at least thought about doing it to an animal. What's so bad 
about that? Are humans so wonderful? Let me tell you some of my best friends 
are animals. 

"You'd have to have lived on a farm to know just how lonely it gets. I'm an 
only child and I have to walk for miles before I find someone to talk to. 
When I was a kid I used to talk to the animals like Doctor Doolittle. I even 
thought they talked back. That's how lonely I was for companionship. 

"I didn't get sexy with animals until I was in my teens. One of my chores 
was to milk the cow. In the cold morning I used to snuggle up to the animal 
to get warm. When I pulled on its teats it was like jerking off. I guess 
that's what it feels like to everyone who ever milked a cow, male or female. 
I'm only bringing that point up to show you that it is easy to think of sex 
when you're with an animal. 

"Our cow, Elsie, was more like a pet. We never sold the milk we got from her 
but used the stuff ourselves. I loved that cow ... and I mean loved. I used 
to do my homework in her stall because it was something warm and alive to be 
with even though she didn't talk. I was fourteen when I took off all my 
clothes in the stall and let Elsie lick my whole body. I let her get thirsty 
first and then I poured water all over myself. The cow licked every part of 
my body with her big, thick, rough tongue and it thrilled me. I stood up on 
a box in front of her and let her lick my can. Then I turned and poured some 
more water over my sex. When she licked me there I got a hard-on and I shot 
my load. 

"Not everyone gets licked from head to foot even by a human. This is called 
an around-the-world job. I used to think of how it would be for a girl to 
lick me that way or how it would be for me to lick a girl's naked body from 
head to toe. What's wrong with that? Everybody has those kinds of hopes. I'm 
just being honest about mine. 

"There was this girl at school I was wild about. She was a beautiful red 
head with very white skin. I used to wonder what she looked like naked. Did 
she have red hair between her legs, I wondered? I was too frightened to ask 
her for a date because she was so damned popular with all the other guys. 
One day I was swimming at a pool with a lot of the kids and over comes the 
red head wearing a bikini. I get a hard-on right away and it shows with my 
tight trunks so I dove into the pool to cool off. 

"The girl fell asleep on a bench and I just looked at her white body getting 
sun burnt. I wanted to lick her just as Elsie had done to me. When I sat 
next to her I ran my tongue along her legs and this woke her up. 'You dirty 
little bastard!' she yells. 'Get away from me!' 

"This brings over three of her boyfriends and they beat me up. I went home 
with a bloody nose and all the kids at school started talking about me after 
that. I was pegged as a creep. Once you get a name like that you can't shake 
it off. 

"I didn't have any friends at school and after what happened at the pool, it 
looked like I was never to have any so I just stayed around the farm a lot. 
I needed to screw like everyone else but the only females I could have 
without trouble were the animals. 

"When I was sixteen I first did it to Elsie. I stood on a box behind her; I 
stuck my dong into her vagina. It was very big and wide and I went all the 
way in without any problems. The cow looked back at me with her huge, brown 
eyes wondering what I was doing. She seemed to like it because she didn't 
move away. I grabbed hold of her body and rammed back and forth. I shot my 
load and the cow hardly paid attention to me. She just lowered her head and 
chewed on some hay. 

"It was more exciting doing it to the horses. We had a couple of mares that 
did most of the heavy work on the farm. We were too poor to afford a 
tractor. Once I had the animals way out in the field and I rested under a 
shade tree with them. It was boiling hot and I already had my shirt off. No 
one was in sight so I took off the rest of my clothes. I stood in the shade 
watching the tired mares scratch their backs by rolling around on the 
ground. I could see their sex openings and I started to get a stiff one. I 
walked over to the first mare and held its rear legs steady. Then I bent at 
the knees and shoved my thing right into the sex hole. The mare was a 
tighter fit than Elsie and she seemed to enjoy it more. The horse wiggled 
back and forth as I rutted and when I let loose, she snorted loudly. The 
next day I took the animals back to the same spot and screwed the other 
horse. That made three females I banged on the farm and I started looking 
around for more. I wanted to see just how many animals I could rut. 

"We had a bunch of pigs that we raised and sold to butchers, our only real 
money stock. Pigs are really clean little animals and they only roll around 
in mud to be protected from the sun. Their hides are thin and pretty tender 
so they have to use mud and dirt as clothing. Pigs may seem to be pretty 
disgusting animals but they are brighter than dogs and just as affectionate. 
I took one of them up to the hay loft and stripped off my clothes. The pig 
sniffed around my body and touched me with her tongue. I rubbed my hand over 
her vagina and the creature snuggled into my lap. When I slipped one of my 
fingers inside she got excited. I got excited myself and I tried to push the 
head of my sex organ into the animal but I was just too big for her. Still 
wanting to have some sex I licked her opening and pushed my tongue in while 
I jerked off. 

"After I did it with all the pigs I screwed the hens. I liked the birds 
because they gave me just the right kind of fit as small as they were. Every 
farmer knows that an averaged-sized human dong can fit up inside a chicken 
without much effort. One of the best ways to do it to a chicken is by 
shoving in and then letting the bird fly off. As it flaps its wings you 
shoot your load. 

"By the time I was seventeen the only female I didn't do anything sexy to on 
the farm was my mother. When I graduated high school I was even more alone 
than ever because I wasn't going on to college and there were no more girls 
my age within five miles of the farm. That's when I started getting nervous. 
I didn't want to go through life doing it just to animals. I wanted a human 
female. 

"To work up courage I got drunk in a bar in town and then went out looking 
for girls. When I talked to them they ran away because I was so loaded. Then 
I saw a woman with a big can waiting for a bus. She reminded me of Elsie, 
the cow. I grabbed her by the ass and she screamed. When I ran away the 
police picked me up and I was charged with molesting the woman and being 
drunk. The woman dropped her charge after awhile because she just didn't 
want to appear in court. The judge gave me a suspended sentence on the drunk 
charge. I now had a record and a bigger reputation as a creep. It got so I 
became a hermit on my own farm because I was afraid to go to town and be 
pointed out as the character who grabs women in the street. 

"Only the animals gave me any pleasure. I still soaked myself with fresh 
water to let the cow lick my entire body and I still fingered the pigs. The 
mares became so used to me screwing them that they just naturally rolled 
over on their backs when they saw me. I raped so many chickens that the 
birds ran away as soon as I came walking along. It was kind of nice to have 
females run in fear from me. It was also kind of nice to have two such big 
broads like the mares spread their legs anytime I wanted them to. Elsie, my 
first and best love, now licked my body and let me bang her as a matter of 
course. To humans I was a flop but, to these animals, I was a great and 
fearsome lover. 

"As much as I tried to get all my satisfactions from animals I couldn't. 
Every time I looked at a naked girl in a magazine I went out of my skull 
with longing. I spent hours in the hay loft with nudist magazines jerking 
off while imagining myself naked, too and with them. I didn't want to be an 
animal-screwer but that's what I was becoming despite myself. 

"One day, after letting the cow lick my body, I decided to end it all. If 
life was going to be so lonely I'd rather check out of it as soon as 
possible. The minute I made up my mind to commit suicide I felt happier. Now 
I was certain I didn't have years and years of loneliness staring me in the 
face. 

"I wanted an easy death because there was no use torturing myself any more 
than I had been. I ruled out hanging because that seemed too unpleasant. I 
thought of drowning myself in that pool where I had gotten into trouble 
before with that redhead but there were always some people there. Then I 
decided to cut my wrists and let myself bleed to death. The only pain would 
be the razor cuts but, after that, there would be no feeling at all. 

"I went up into the hay loft where I had spent so much time thinking about 
sex and sliced my wrists open. Blood gushed out and I knew it wouldn't take 
long. I watched the blood make the hay red and Elsie, my best friend, looked 
up at me with her big, brown eyes. She knew that something was wrong. 

"I started to get weaker and lay back in the hay to wait for death. My 
eyelids grew heavy and the barn began to spin. I felt very happy. I would 
never have to suffer again. 

"The first sound I heard was my mother crying. I felt certain that I was at 
my own funeral. But, I wasn't. My father had come into the barn looking for 
me and had wrapped up my wrists just in time. He called for a doctor who had 
stitched my wounds closed. I was in a hospital and getting a blood 
transfusion. The doctors told me that I had come within an inch of death. 

"My parents wanted to know why I had tried to kill myself but I just 
couldn't tell them. When they insisted I let them have the whole story and 
they looked at me in disgust. 'I knew that you were never right in the head, 
Nick,' my father told me, 'but I never thought you were a degenerate.' 

"'The next time I try to kill myself don't stop me then,' I answered. I tore 
the stitches open and started to bleed once more. 

"As much as my old man hated having an animal-screwer for a son I was the 
only heir he had so he called for the doctor again. This time I was kept in 
a mental ward for awhile until my wound healed. 

"I see psychiatrists twice a week but I really need to see girls. With two 
suicide tries behind me I'm considered more of a creep than ever so human 
females avoid me like poison. The longer I stay around this hick county the 
worst things get for me and that's why I'm going to move once I get enough 
cash together. There just has to be a girl out there for me ... there just 
has to be ... If I go back to donging animals again I think I'll kill 
myself. The next time I'll be sure there's no one around to save me to go on 
living in this miserable world." 


 THE END
